The Sweetest Revenge

I have reached the end...really tired. I always say I am done but this time I really am. Plans set in motion as we speak. When you are nasty and hurtful to others, it only sends a message that the people they surround themselves with can treat you the same way. This is not a scibe of defeat, more of a declaration of promises. I promise to live my life well, that is the sweetest revenge.

Happy New Year!

Making Moves

Walking away from ALL hurt

Culture

@ The Guyanese Embassy with the President of Co-operative Republic of Guyana Bharrat Jagdeo

Alone with my Thoughts

Eating Smores and drinking warm milk...thinking.

Edting for a Website

First editing job,guess that B+ paid off. I'll be up late tonight,it launches Friday.

Two Years Ago Today...

Domestic Violence is real. Somewhere right now someone is suffering, please take a stand. I miss you Tiffany, I really wish you were still here, so much I want to tell you. I love you very much and not a day goes by that I don't think about you sister. RIP

Parent Policy

How involved are you in your child's education? UPO Weekend Orientation, so glad I am a part of this!

My Son Rocks!!!

I have an awesome child..I am really blessed. I still can't believe he is mine. I fall in love with him more and more everyday. I swear I have never loved anyone like I love him.

I had a long day and so did he. I took him to school, went to class, came back to his school for Parent Policy Meeting. I have been re-elected for Chairman so documents needed to be signed and the meeting was held, it was a good turn out. After I left there I took Jackson with me back to school. I did makeup for my school's fashion show. Jackson was such a trooper and hung with me back stage until I was done. He eventually asked to go home...long day home at 12 midnight. We were able to get a meal at school, and laid him to bed...now why am I still up lol.


My son rocks,I'm so in love with my little guy. I am going to the The National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC)conference this weekend. I am going to miss my little guy...funny I have not left yet and already miss him. I can't imagine not being able to see him everyday. Uggghhh and when I have to be away I am missing him badly. Well let me go to sleep and I will holler at you all later.

Today

Trying to apply for this job...would be a great opportunity....wish me luck.

Class was cool...got to grind this one out, music is so deep...trying to be a musician as well as a singer is not easy...for me that is. Dropped piano and will pick it back up in the Spring. I can't play and read very fast,plus the Professor was sleep half the semester. I challenged her about my Mid-Term grade but instead of arguing I let it be...I was not about to be her Guinea pig for her only semester here. I have always made a C or B in piano, never a D...something aint right

Stayed in the house all weekend with my little guy, he is so fun. I can't wait to pick him up so we can play, He is so in love with the puppy, I am so glad I got it for him. He would say "Mommy Woky is so cute I wuv him" and then kiss the dog...oh Lord it's too precious. He really needs the companionship, asking God specifically for certain things, he and I are need of...a new baby would not be bad either Oh wait gimme the hubby first lol...Thanks God lol.


Learned how to use a flash drive today....new things and so in love...I know I am slow lol.


Ok still pressing, this is a hard month for me, looking to God for strength in all this.

Oh going to a conference on Friday and come back on Sunday, got childcare thank God,going to take it all in.

Enjoy your day, I know I will try and enjoy mine.

Don't wait

Don't wait on anyone to make you feel beautiful...tell yourself!

Respect

How can we ask for things we don't give? The last one stands out for me the most. I guess over yeas of feeling disrespected, demeaned and not being considered...I have been accused of not being respectful. I guess it's been hard to just smile and take it, it's been hard to give someone something they never gave you. My behavior has been off the charts at times...all from frustration. I have realized over the years if a person is unwilling to change there is no need to get bent out of shape about it.


re·spect
   /rɪˈspɛkt/ Show Spelled[ri-spekt] Show IPA
–noun
1.
a particular, detail, or point (usually prec. by in ): to differ in some respect.
2.
relation or reference: inquiries with respect to a route.
3.
esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability: I have great respect for her judgment.
4.
deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment: respect for a suspect's right to counsel; to show respect for the flag; respect for the elderly.
5.
the condition of being esteemed or honored: to be held in respect.
6.
respects, a formal expression or gesture of greeting, esteem, or friendship: Give my respects to your parents.
7.
favor or partiality.
8.
Archaic . a consideration.

Angry Rants and Dropped Classes

I posted an angry rant a couple days ago. To be honest, I can see where the mad crazy lady could happen...to bad I am too much of a lady. I also have no time or tolerance to even act out..but at the moment I wish I could not care and act a fool. I realized I let someone who was ignorant get to me.


Getting hyped listening to classic Tina Turner...all I need now is some red lipstick and a short shiny hot dress to put on a concert for myself and the lil one lol


I dropped one more class that makes three...going to do my best to finish strong...this was a rough semester.


Dinner is on...tty later folks

Letting Go

Pain in my belly, head is spinning. I just let go of something heavy, I got tired of it so I asked God to give me the courage. I felt so shameful for all these years knowing God knew my heart and still denying his word. I am letting it go and I feel a bit more free.

Asking God to cover me, and be my shield. Weekend was spent in the house. I wanted to take the lil one out... I laid on the couch and cried and prayed, tried to study and prayed some more. It's almost Monday, I am exhausted...way past my bedtime. Sleep well and talk to you soon.

Richard Smallwood & Vision - Nothing Without Your Love

Push

Got to school@ 9:30 am, trying to work out a song I need to play. I got frustrated and said out loud " I could really use a friend right now"...had no one to call so I called on Jesus. Not even 5 minutes later my wise mentor walked in and gave me words of encouragement, I swear he is right on time.

Last night with Him

I ended up in tears, in his arms. I could not bring myself to make love to him. He tried, gave it a good effort,but I just could not do it. I don't remember how many times I said I was sorry. My heart ,body and spirituality was not up for it, I told him I just wanted to live right.

I am no prude by far, and though I fantasize about  "it" I just can't do it. He just kept saying "baby what's wrong, what's wrong, talk to me." I explained that I want to be married one day, and I live my life the way I believe God would want, and anything that is not like him is a disappointment. I want to wake up and see love EVERY morning and not feel bad. #Celibate and Proud

 Going to reflect on E and last night, I told him I didn't want to waste his time. He just held me, and wiped my tears until I fell asleep. I woke up to him kissing me and he went home, he is still so sweet and gentle with me, I know he cares about me ,but my salvation is more important.

I just kept asking God to keep me, said it over and over as I laid in his arms falling asleep. Things will get better eventually, I have to believe that.

Struggle, Conversations with Jesus

Not feeling well, mind is all over the place tonight. Being held, curled up under the covers would be good right about now. On the verge of tears. SCHOOL!CAR! LIL ONE!

Dropped 2 classes, never got a D..but I have one now in Piano class,I have to do better next go round. Weeping may last for a night,but joy comes in the morning...I need to see the sun soon. My life may look fun and exciting, but...well at least try to smile to keep from crying, feeling stressed out.  Something has to give. I have poured my heart and soul into my son, he has no idea what Mommy goes through to make his life peaceful. That's what you do for your kids, he is doing so well and his teachers and staff at school are seeing a change. I am really working with him so he can be all he can be in life, looks like he is progressing leaps and bounds.

Well I am going to study and pray, be easy folks and thanks for the love.

Bumpy Lumpy

Lump under my arm is killer...been there for months. I am going to see about getting it looked at,praying for nothing serious. Hurts really bad.

Holy Trinity Worship Center had a word for me

Went to church tonight...sang with my school choir. I am so glad because my flesh was feeling weak and I so needed a word. Holding on to God's promise for my life and a blessing is going to happen. Feeling better and going to pray and have more faith. God is always going to cover his children...just to think I was reflecting on the words J's whoever/whatever she is said to me really made me feel horrible. Now God put a song in my heart and I feel better. Well time to get some rest and go to school in the am.

Feeling Feelings and Not Needing to Feel Right Now

Funny how the mind, heart and body work together...Thank God I am in tune with God and myself.

Wishing, wanting to be held. Wanting to do things I have denied myself...all in the struggle to "do right". Missing the kiss, lick, touch, suck,feel of a man. I want to get on top,bend over, lie on my back and take it all in...but I am trying to do right. #Celibacy

I want my top undone and my body pleased...but trying to do right.

I know that though I allowed a little kiss, I am not really open to the idea of Ev. He is familiar, but not what I need or want...don't want to use him. I rid myself of all the good men I was cool with when I went all in with the Ex. I never imagined being with anyone besides the father of my child. EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE feels foreign. It just never sat right in my spirit to not be with him, but life and the choices we make place us in different spaces. I could not imagine my child feeling and dealing with the reality that his mother did not want to stay with their father. I am worth so much more, I am valued and worthy of honest,put the work into it love. I understand that I was not treated the way I was supposed to be, so each day I remind myself of that, and everyday it gets easier in my choice to walk away. He never really showed nor expressed a huge enthusiasm for me and why would you want to be with someone who thought of you as just something/someone to do until the next thing caught his eye.I am a prize, PERIOD, POINT BLANK.

I am human, I miss making love, I miss having a relationship,and I want to start over. I do believe in starting over, and giving it a shot...as long as you are willing to do the work. I am willing to do the work. Body is screaming right now...so is my heart. .


Really want to rebel in so many ways....having a tough day. Father rock me.

Larry does DC again...October 8-10, 2010

We had such a good time, wish I had weekends like that more often.

Pants on Fire

‎"It never ends with just one lie"

Fender Benders and Drops

Got into a car accident this morning taking the lil to school. I cried so hard it was crazy, I just feel so unfocused. Everything is half and rushed. I was not rushing this morning...well sort of because I went to bed again at 2:30am. I was trying to do homework for my math class. The lady I hit today was so cold and seemed bent on saying she was hurt. The firefighters seemed annoyed with her after awhile when she was trying to laugh and joke with them. They had to do there job and I was just trying to calm down.

Lil started crying when I started to cry. There I was tired, late, in a rush, stressed out. The officer was so kind as to not charge me the full amounts for the tickets he gave me. They are one hundred dollars a piece. So two hundred dollars, plus the ticket I could not pay that is two hundred dollars now, plus the one hundred seventy...total of $570.00. YEAH,HOW WILL I EVER PAY THAT? I am not going to let this make me sad. I never been so behind financially since having my son. I have to just keep on keeping on.

Oh I dropped my math class today. I was struggling so much, I knew I was going to fail. Rather let it go now than fail later. Once I take this mid-term Friday, I will see if I have to drop materials of music. Ok babies...got Mommy/Daddy duty...holla at ya later.

Grammy U 365...Music, The Life of a Singer

Drake, and Neyo,my Classical Instructor Professor Holloman and (L-R) OPENING FOR MAYSA-Gina Rose, Jackie O'Day (BgVocals), Grammy Award Nominee & Soul Train Music Award Winner MAYSA, and Tony Carr Jr.(BgVocals)- at MAYSA Concert @ Bethesda Theater, Oct 16, 2010

Feeling Blah

So stalker called my phone at 2:20 am. Not only was she disrespectful in calling me, playing on my phone, but she is ringing my phone at a crazy hour,...so now you don't care that you wake me up,but you could wake up my child. How in the world can she think the way she acted a fool with me would be ok? Did she not know she would and could damage things between the Ex and I? That could have been her aim and wanted to make sure that if it was broke, she would make sure it was irreparable. How is that caring for him or my child? If you "love him so much" as she claimed, why be hurtful to me? God help me I'm so confused about all this crap. Enough talking about that for now, onto bigger things.

Missed my Mid-Term today...my lil one woke up at 1:30,4,5 and 6am to throw up. I made the decision to miss classes today and I am exhausted. I tried to study every other hour he was asleep. Times like that makes the single life suck, should have called Ev lol. Let me not even play like that, I know he would jump at the chance but I am just not there with him. He showed up at my show at and then took me to lunch. It was good to see him. I could tell he wanted to kiss me, but I did not want to give him the wrong idea. When I got pregnant with Jackson, I made a promise to God to serve him. I have had my ups and downs with that, but for the most part...in order for me to be blessed I have to be obedient.

I know the sacrifices I have made will pay off in the end, so I am just fine with conversation from would be suitors. Real men love God and live to be obedient and honor him. We are not prefect but we should live everyday with God in the forefront of our lives. When I was a child I did childish things....so EVERYDAY WE SHOULD LIVE LIKE ADULTS. I just want peace and love in my life. The devil comes disguised in different forms like my Ex's psycho sex buddy. But I understand now, that this is a distraction...and I am focused on removing nonsense out of my life.


Well I know the two songs I will sing for my show next month, really excited about it. I will probably drop 2 classes, I really don't want to but Math is kicking my butt. I want to pass and this does not look like my semester to do that...If I am going to apply for financial aid, I need to drop and save my GPA. Well, I am not feeling well and I am sure I have whatever  lil one has uuuggghhh. Going to study and turn in early. Until later be well.

He Called...

Now what? He is E...and I have not talked to him since I broke things off more than a year ago. I left him to go back to my Ex, and he decided to leave the area. He's has moved back and reached out via Facebook. I didn't think too much of it and just chatted briefly via inbox and kept it moving. Well he reached out via yahoo IM, and asked if he could call...I let him. So now he wants to see me...today actually and I am not together. With all this foolishness going on with the stalker I just feel out of it. I can't stop him though, he is a man who goes for what he knows.

I will be hosting Lunch Time Jazz, A Music Series from 2pm-3pm, I will also sing a song or two. If he comes, it will be more than a year. We have always had an interesting relationship/friendship, either way it will be nice to see an old friend. He was so sweet, he offered to help me with the lil one, I could use all the support I can get. Mid-Terms are coming up and help, an ear and a hand are right on time. He gave me his take on the whole messy situation with the Ex and his stalker girlfriend, it was good to get a man's perspective. Well, off to do homework until I pass out...Math here I come...good times. NOT.

Still No Understanding of It All

So she called again today, I am so sick of this woman and her childish games. I have been going over and over the things in my head ,trying to understand how anyone could be that mean and desperate. It was a wound I worked really hard to try and heal and she pulled the scab off for no reason. Why keep calling me? I have yet to know what the truth is since being pulled into all this mess. I was minding my business trying to do my math which I am struggling in and here she comes calling...mind you restricted. I could not even finish, I just left school after that.

I was able to get some information on her and have been seeking advisement on restraining orders. I hate to say this is bothering me, but it is. He's disgusted by her foolishness too. He is livid she had to sneek into his phone to get my number. I have to think, is this woman going to show up at my door, and when she does, she will lose her life. I work really hard to have a loving and sound place for my son and I, now some foolish chick is messing with that. Never felt the need to leave my home, but I can't risk any violence. Someone will die and it won't be me. Why target me? I just keep asking myself why? Looking for another place everyday for her safety..Ugghh!

Just Because

Just because you are saved does not mean your not supposed to be mad or react to things. Now I have to go repent for all the 4 letter words I used lol... brb.

I cried so hard last night in my prayers, asked God to protect my son and myself and to let the blood of Jesus cover us. I asked for forgiveness in being angry at this fool...she took me to a place I hate to go. But just because I am saved does not mean you are immune to feeling. The Bible says, it is okay to be angry but sin not. Yes, repent because God judges us on our thoughts and what's in our hearts. God knows my heart regardless of my action the other day. I just had to call her out, get it out of my system what and who I thought she was. God will fight my battles from here on out. Whatever the drama is going on with the Ex and stalker is the Ex's doing not mine...all I want is peace and happiness in my life. I think they are both getting a kick out of this mess. Dude, I left you, stop hyping this idiot up to think I want you. I can't want a man, who feeds into, supports and partakes in someone who is disrespectful to me. I love God and myself more that you.

Tonight!!

@A Grammy event...got a wonderful blessing that night.

Despite the sadness in my heart, I am going to push on and get this gig tonight. My mother/angel has agreed to watch my son. I still have to press on even when I don't feel like it. I am trying to not let the unanswered questions consume me. I am tired didn't really sleep and got another blocked call today. SMH. So tired of this dumb woman calling my phone. I know Jamar is somewhere telling this fool it's going to be alright. I am sure she lied and told him she never said any of the foolishness she said the other day. I really don't want to have to change my number. I already feel inconvenienced by leaving my home.

Ok I got that out...TONIGHT:Singing backup for Gina Rose tonight. Grammy Award Nominee and Soul Train Music Award Winner MAYSA @ Bethesda Theatre, 8pm...tickets on sale!!!

Exhausted by it all

I fell asleep...I was exhausted. My son's father called and that drew my last bit of energy. I am up now attempting to finish my math and English homework@5:30 am.

Happy to Be Me

Joined Grammy U, Offered a position to sing lead in a band, 16 credit taking Student, Mommy, Me. Asking for God to give me strength because I have been making some choices that I am unsure about. Over all I am happy to be me, my son is happy, loved and cared for, we are blessed.

Over the Years, The Cutest Uncouple You Will Ever Meet.

Two peas in a pod 7 years strong and we don't intend to stop. All girls should have a guy who is a friend like him. Ladies,he's single.

Tears of ...

Received a phone call that reduced me to tears....in a good way. I made a promise to God last month and ever since he has been showing off with the blessings. Forgiveness is a powerful thing, God prepared me mind, body, and spirit to receive the apology and so now the gap is closed. Thank you Father. All the struggles and heartache I faced was just God's way of building me up to that moment. FINALLY validation and a kindred understanding that they knew EXACTLY how I was feeling. Sometimes people who contribute knowingly and unknowing to another person's pain, don't feel they have done any wrong.
It's an unfortunate situation, but when they do know and have searched their heart..that means there is growth. I cried so hard, I needed to hear that...that's all I needed was true sincere acknowledgment for the actions and it was done. I tell you God has been opening so many doors and I am running through them. Look how amazing and fast he works, just a month ago I was feeling like I had no fight in my left(even though I am the come back kid). He said just have faith in me, and look at what I am about to do for you and your son....watch me work! At this point it feels like Christmas to me...with gifts(I never get gifts I want,lol),I am like what's next...really excited. Again Father, I know I am a work in progress. I thank you for staying in the fight with me and for me....I love you.

So Far

So far Brian's funeral, it was like 25 years since I saw any of my old friends. Lizz Wright concert, Easter egg hunt, best friend took me on a cruise, Ximena graduated, hung out with my picture husband Troy,James poking his head in the back, Memorial Day cookout,went to see my old tour mate Chinah Blac for Can A Sista Rock A Mic, she killed it, Nicci showed up and she sang her heart out, took Jackson to his first baseball game, giving the blue eyes at a birthday party Khristi(photographer) is amazing behind the camera. Oh yeah your girl did it, I got a 2.9 GPA..3 A's, 3 B's and a C...not happy about the C...but it's better than a D. I really need to find ways to study before fall semester starts because things will get harder. I've got moving on the brain...really want to move to Europe in the next few years. I need to set some things up once I graduate and then we are out of here. For now SC,NC and TX. I was able to interview with an employer down in SC...my friends really came through...like always. Still pending, it's in God's hands.

Men to the left and right and to be honest...I am so lazy. I might not be ready...to tired to be honest and no time for men who are unprepared. I am doing to job of two parents in one household, so social time is challenging right now...but I do what I can. As I am typing this...my little one is right up under me.

Soooo I won't call him a "friend" but he is hella yummy physically. I love a man that works out. He's checking me out, but he is shy...so it's like talking to a bashful 13 year old boy...only cute for so long. I don't want to lead him on, but I don't know how to cut him loose without hurting his feelings. Then there was the guy I thought was a thug. We had our first phone conversation and he was so articulate...I judged...I was wrong(shame on me). Not sure I am attracted, time will tell. Ahhh then there is him...I think he thinks, I am supposed to be available for him all the time. He's really yummy but I am sure I don't want him on a serious level. We met over a year ago and I am still not smitten. It's crazy the men I meet are real lookers, educated and seemingly sweet...but really shy and lacking in self confidence.

Jackson...what can I say...getting big. Did I tell you we had our first field trip, train ride, baseball game, Six Flags...oh we have been all over the place. He's a ball of energy, no wonder I am tired all the time lol. I am so in love with being a mother. I was told it would not happen for me and now I have the privilege and honor.I would love a little girl and then I am done. I guess I might want to get a man and then act like I want to keep him(marry him)first. No more baby mamma for me, it's tough in many ways,but I do know I want another...love child? There would have to be special support on that one the father would need to be very supportive. I did it alone before, but "IF" I had to, Daddy needs to be hands on. Last year was a breeze, love all around, extra help...no regrets. I am happy I got a taste of what It could be like, now I want it all the time. I never had a guy around my son romantically, but I appreciated all he did from the outside.What else...oh went to NC to check out homes, jobs, celebrated Nicci's birthday and see my God-Brother. Larry paid for my ticket and so I hung out in NYC last weekend...had a ball. We danced the night away, went to Coney Island, Church and then I beat it back to DC...I love Larry(friends to the end)
Well I have a long day ahead and I must get myself together. It was good, see you in a couple of days.

Love never dies...

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.

Interracial Dating And Supporting Barack Obama [Video]

"The BLACK WOMAN is much much more committed to the black man, then it appears we are to them" -Minister Louis Farrakhan

Minister Farrakhan Speaks On Interracial Dating And Supporting Barack Obama [Video]

Fine Line

So I have been torn for some time now...on being patient or just throwing caution to the wind and making it happen. I did something the other night that was very reminiscent of the old me...6 years ago. Would like to have another child but with the economy the way it is...I just don't know. I am pressing it out in school and that along with my very active 2 1/2 year old...I just don't know. I am sure my grades look good but I wish I had more time to myself to study they way I need and like to. Even with a mate...certain things are not guaranteed.

I will be 40 in 4 years...would like to have my degree by then another child...a little girl will do and have moved. I am also thinking about moving to London, I have family and friends there so starting over would not be too hard. Who knows where the wind will take my little guy and I, all I know is Mamma is on her hustle to set things back on track for both of us, hubby or not ,lol. Walking a fine line on age and priorities.

I hope the summer has a good balance for me, I rarely get time or money to do anything so I am hoping that we can make it work. I am still looking for work and don't think I have money for summer school. To be honest I don't know If I could sit in a two and a half hour class, while it's hot outside... I just don't know.

Car needs another part..UGH!!!!!!! Lord knows I need my ride, it gets the lil one and I everywhere and I would be so limited without it. God will work it out, I have been blessed to get help thus far...so I am trusting him.

Men and the Love They Deserve

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, only with what you are expecting to give; which is everything." -Katherine Hepburn


So I know this particular fellow has been poking me on facebook and making a point to speak when I help host the alumni events. He's more than a little good looking and has a bit of a rep for being a ladies man. Why me?...am I the one who is not tangible? I guess because I don't pay to much never mind to men they flock to me. So we connect and I am expecting this uber suave, fast talking, selfish asshole...NOT EVEN. Soft, extra shy, intimidated by me,nervous, scared,and says sorry way too much. He's so damaged it's sad. I think we assume that men don't need to be cared for. I had to tell him he deserved good honest, monogamous, healthy, good love. He told me in his head I would make the perfect girlfriend or wife if it were right, right now.

Awwwwww *Tears* Not really but it was a sweet thing to say. I don't really have it in me to hold any guys hand, nor do I want to...no time. I told him I was not judging him as he proceeded to tell me about how he has a hard time connecting with women. He said he struggle because of his shyness, and the women he has interest in seem so far out of his reach. He went onto say he found me attractive and loved my drive as far as school and raising my son. I told him I respect and cherish his feelings and that it was cute he thought so much of me.


Our connection was to say the least...interesting.

Just a little while longer

I have 2 classes on Monday, lil one is sick, my research paper is due on Thursday, did I say my lil one is sick. I also have to write an essay to try and win a scholarship, I really could use it. God I am calling for a healing and a sitter so I can go to class. The car was jerking last night, I can't afford for my ride to go down, trying to not stress out. Got to be strong hold on, hold on. Let's just say one day at a time sweet Jesus. I just need my baby boy to get better, I hate to see him suffer. If I could take on his pain I would. Something has got to give.

Holding onto my feelings today.

Surgery today, calling on God and all his angel warriors.

Love is a Verb...You just have to do it!

Semester is almost over thank Gawd!!!!!!!!!. I have to give him praise because so many times I felt like throwing in the towel. I was sick so many times, Jackson was sick, my ankle is still in a lot of pain. I was Aunt Em in The Wiz, took Mid-Terms and now buckling down for Finals. So many nights I came home, got Jackson feed, bathed, loved on and off to bed only to fall asleep studying. Waking up in the clothes from the day before only to do it all again. Still looking for a job, no luck so far but I refuse to stress out. I REFUSE TO STRESS OUT even though my English Professor got sick and we finally got a replacement sort of. She slams us with a 5 page research paper for our final...really lady...like I got time. Either way I want to pass, so it has to get done.

I need to be worth my weight in salt meaning:In the middle ages salt was very rare and valuable, so a person "worth their weight" was a person who was needed and valuable. Wiki

I never really ever have time to study, love on Jackson,spend time with him or really take a moment to relax. I spend most of my time playing catch up...not good, my house is a wreck. I feel guilty at times because I don't get the quality time with my son like I want and need. I feel like I made this commitment to go back to school and finish my degree. The sacrifices need to be made for a better tomorrow. I pray that there will be some balance but for now I won't complain..praise GOD!

The Wiz

So my return to the stage was such a rewarding feeling. I really wish I could do more but with Jackson I know it will be close to impossible. My friends and family really helped but it was a lot of running all over the place to get Jackson situated,I so cherish there love and support. As soon as I hit the stage Jackson ran down the isle to the front of the theater "MOMMY"...it was too cute. All that I do I do for him. I think if steady income was in place, paying a sitter would ease the worry I have about pursuing my dreams. I am trying to live my dreams so that he can one day dream to be all his heart desires. Here are some pictures from The Wiz...pictures of my friends and family are also on Facebook.

Thanks for all your love and support.

I will be taking on the role of Aunt Em...though my part is small I worked really hard. With school a very energetic two year old, I reluctantly took on this role. I was afraid of trying to do too much, but I love to perform. I often times find myself torn between my dreams and passions and being a good mother and student. I will save that rant for another blog. Anwho come check me out in the Wiz this week, I promise you will have a ball.

THE WIZ at The University of the District of Columbia

Live musical with a great band and performers.
Come join four friends who meet along the way on their fantastic journey in the magical land of Oz, for their common search to find whats already within. Through music, dancing, and friendships built...you will be in for a treat. Show dates & times are as follows:

March 25th - 28th;
Thur@ 10am,
Fri @ 7pm,
Sat 3 @ 7pm,
Sun @ 7pm

More shows to be announced

Ticket prices are $12.50 for general admission
$7.50 for all students
$5 for children 12 & under
for those interested in paying via PAYPAL, please send interests to David A. Richardson, drichardson06@yahoo.com

I Won!

National Children's Dental Health Month
So there was a contest to win a fifty dollar gift card and a pizza party for my son's classroom. The requirement was either a song,poem or poster. I made a poster as well as a poem and included fun dental facts. When I went to pick up my part of the prize there was a beautifully hand written card. I worked hard on it and I am proud that I was able to do that for my son. Education is very important and I need to be a consistent example.

To My Son by ADDicted

To My Son by ADDicted


Five times a day
I pray as hard as I can
to be an example for him
Every Bismillaah ir rahmaan ir raheem
I pray for my sins
I pray for GOD to protect him
You see, I loved him before I met him
Now, that I know him,
I’m in love again
My son
I will always be your first kiss
Your first love
As long as, we both shall live
Now, I reminisce about the
9 months that bought us to this
And the stretches that mark
My stomach, hips and thighs
I am filled with pride
as I look at my child
My son, My heart,
my love, the reason I exist
Always, always remember this….
I love you and I will always cherish
Every smile, every laugh, every kiss
As I reminisce
My son

Follow the Leader

Beautiful piece, praying I can pull it off.

Round Midnight

Working on this piece.

It begins to tell,
'round midnight, midnight.
I do pretty well, till after sundown,
Suppertime I'm feelin' sad;
But it really gets bad,
'round midnight.

Memories always start 'round midnight
Haven't got the heart to stand those memories,
When my heart is still with you,
And ol' midnight knows it, too.
When a quarrel we had needs mending,
Does it mean that our love is ending.
Darlin' I need you, lately I find
You're out of my heart,
And I'm out of my mind.

Let our hearts take wings'
'round midnight, midnight
Let the angels sing,
for your returning.
Till our love is safe and sound.
And old midnight comes around.
Feelin' sad,
really gets bad
Round, Round, Round Midnight
(A pale and lonely moon
Lights the sky in the dark
Before the dawn
I sit here in my room how I sigh
For the day that's come and gone
Another lonely day passes by
And a new day's coming on
At midnight

Tears I've shed today
Will pause waiting until tomorrow
Dreams of what could become close to me
Timidly
There's a brand new day in sight
At that time 'round midnight

Life's a game of chance
And you're one of the minor players
Look for what you love
The day to come harbours some
Let your spirit stop the fight
At that time 'round midnight

Every day's gonna bring some sadness
Every day's gonna bring some gladness
So take what you can of the glad times
Don't measure your pleasure in nickels and dines

You better look back on the day
And you'll know when you've been unhappy
Fears don't chased away just mighty might have the day
Let your eyes put out their light
At that time round midnight

I'll think no more about today
For in a while this old day will be yesterday
Alone at midnight here in my room
I sit here in the gloom
And let my dreams take flight
'Round 'bout midnight

Happy Valentine's Day..Birthday approching

I think most women like flower and candy...I'll skip the candy but a balloon and some tulips will do. Really the love is more important than anything that could be purchased. Romance should not always be measured in what is paid for,but rather how you really appreciate the other person. Love should be show everyday. I have never had "love" on Valentine's Day and that's fine by me.I wish happiness to all in love or in like.

Birthday will be here soon, not totally checked in....shoulders hurt. Very tense. So much to do and no time to get all excited about it. I am thankful. I have the best gift every year...my son.