Hymnal Songs

So I decided to try a Gospel Improve class this semester. Growing up Catholic, and Catholic school didn't provide a ton of gospel influence. I've sung in choirs, and even groups, longing to catch the runs and trills. I've always sung conservatively, and I believe it is in part of my upbringing and schooling.

Gospel is heavy laden in improv. If I can shed and learn my chord changes which are also tied heavily to jazz and the blues, I can sing and play for myself. The desire to do this rang out for me last Saturday when I sang at a funeral. The person playing couldn't find the chord changes and I had to politely gesture her to stop playing as she was throwing me off.

So the kids are feed and asleep and I am on keys for a few to pluck out the melody for a hymn I am learning, wish me luck fellow musicians.

Peace!

Summer Camp

So I'm seriously thinking of throwing a fundraiser for my son. There are a couple of camps I would love to send him to, but the cost is outrageous. I also have to think about possibly finding a driver or paying someone to drop him off and pick him up everyday. Then there is before and aftercare. Lawd!

I need him to have the best, and these days sometimes the best cost. I've been wanting to encourage and develop something's and going this route seems promising. Scholarships, grants, donations, anything to make this happen. I've even considered starting my own one day. Who knows, with God anything is possible.

Come On People

#Comedy

Kisses

I kiss him while he's asleep, every moment I can catch him during play...and overload before school. I love he.

You Must Be Parched!!

Don't be that chick, it's not a good look.

Desperation

You're over 30 and still doing elementary foolishness. I feel bad for you, no maturity.

Ugly Girl

I had to repost this one

Family Time

Watching Tron ,The Aristocats and The Golden compass with my boys. I may be a girlie girl, but I love me some Sci-Fi , so Tron is first up...and Kung-Fu movies will be watched next week. I'm still sick but not too sick to put in some family time.

Can't Slow Me Down

Hey folks as many of you know we are fasting, myself and some of my brothers and sisters in Christ from work and school are fasting as well.

I wanted to say Thank you Father, though my body is not doing what I need it to do, you still keep me. I'm learning my lessons the hard way y'all. When your body says no, listen! It will either shut itself down or self destruct , mine is doing a little bit of both.
Mothers are usually the last to go to the doctor because they run the ship. Well I made a promise to god to take better care of myself. I want to live a long life. After falling ill late last year and feeling so horrible, I made the decision to start going to the doctor.

I can't wait for February 5th to come! I've never been so hyped to see a Dr. The problems I was having are acting like they want to bother me again....sorry ya can't have my health. I also promised myself a real vacation....I never ever treat myself...time to change that. I have my favorite color and scarf to comfort me. Kiddo is gone for the weekend and I'm on my way to bed at 5pm lol.

Be blessed folks and be mindful of your health. Keep me in your prayers, as I do for you and mine.

Train A Child Up

You betta know Jesus lil boy lol!

Dream Big

I had a very interesting conversation with a man the other day, and he was asking me where was my business plan. I guess there is no time like the present. Going to really pray on it. I'll be asking God to place the right people in my path to get it started. I'll be asking God to provide time, and a clear headspace to write out my vision.

I guess I've been scared to approach, but I can't leave this earth without trying. Who knows, I may leave behind something impact full that my children can be proud of. Welp, I'm a bit tired but there is plenty of studying to be done. Dream big my loves, I know I am.

Momma and Daddy

Picked my momma up from the ER about 1am. Her health is deteriorating and to see her in pain breaks my heart. I've never been delusional about aging or illness, but it still tough all the same when it's a loved one.

I'm really considering having her move in with me. Some have suggested a Hospice, but whenever she has been ill, I've taken care of her, and I won't have it any other way. If I could move Daddy in I would do that too. He's so many miles alway and facing Chemo. If I could just find a way to get him out her my mind and heart can rest easy. My parents are my parents, no i did I not have a childhood, yes I had to grow up sooner than I wanted but I honor and love them regardless.

I'm thankful for the things they contributed to my life, and the things I didn't get, God provided. The things I longed for, God reconciled with my heart. Parents don't come with instruction manuals to raise us,they do their best and pray they don't break us in the process lol. Lord if I got to really writing about my life....geesh, but I'm thankful. Every thing my parents did and did not do, still was able to produce such a great young woman as myself.

They are proud of me and I and even more proud of them.

Love you Mom and Dad

Priorities

I find it baffling when people put themselves before their children. I would go without before my child didn't have. I have and still do go without most of the time now. This weighs heavy on me on this am as I see my child off to school. Had a great round table discussion last night about how we prioritized our lives. My main priority is my child, and making sure he does not feel the brunt of what I go through to make sure he has.

Many times I've robbed Peter to pay Paul, or purchased groceries just for him, while I eat from a loved one. This stunned some of my peers, don't let the fabulous fool you, the coins and folds are all for my kid, I just happen to know how to hook an outfit up and make it look like a million bucks.

I don't have a problem with us wearing hand me downs, or not being able to take exotic trips. The lessons I'm installing in my baby boy is needs and necessity, and most of all patience. I cringe when I hear parents tell out "put that back, I ain't got no money" to their kids in the store. They should never have to feel that. The pressure of this recession should be known, and economic times should be discussed, but they as children should be gently shielded from it as much as they can. No child should have to see a parent worry about such thing. if they do, it should be gently discussed. Children take on far too much worry, let them be kids and have their innocence.
A child should be aware of adult things, when they are mentally and mutually able to process it.

I'm teaching my son the value of money now and what it is to save and spend, what is a need and what is a want, trust me they will thank you for it later. In the end he will value when either I or himself are able to obtained things by putting priority and patience first. How many folks out their have the latest shoes, newest car, can eat out several times a week..... but not have a savings set up for their child. Lets get it together folks, when you know better, you do better.

Support

This can apply to friendships, family and even work.

Joy!!!!!

Words can't describe how blessed, and happy I am. There is a peace that has settled and a fire that tickles. My lil one is happier than I've ever seen him, and my heart is so full with content about that. Lord, I may not have what others have or be where others judge I should be, but you provide all I need, and the fire you light in my spirit keeps me pressing for my BA, then onto my Masters.


It took a minute to get here, but I ain't gonna lie, it feels amazing. The devil was busy, trying its hardest to crush me and threaten my life. Too bad, so sad, you lose. 2013 Me and mine are off to a great start. What God has put together....you know the rest.

Be easy

Pregnancy

It can either give you back your body, or totally change it. Regardless it's a blessing.

Attached At The Hip

He keeps touching me, and it's driving me nuts, but I wouldn't have it any other way. #Children #NoPersonalSpace #Parenthood

New Car

What a long day, but I had to jot down this funny. So I'm at the gas station getting gas, my lil ones in tow. My baby boy says "Mommy, you have to get a new car, this car is broken," no sooner did he say that the car cut off. TALK ABOUT HILARIOUS!!! No truer words son, no truer words. #JesusBeANewRide

Not Just an Ex

It's 3:08, my 2nd boyfriend ever mother died...just found out. I was there when his dad died well over 15 years ago and now Momma Noel is gone.

He gave me my third dog, kept that dog for almost 15 years... I was 21 when he gave him to me. I was over the moon ,when I was able to return the favor, and give him my dog when I had to move. I know that dog has been great source of companion ship, and reminds him of his first dog bear that he had when we first met.. My ex and I are close, like brother and sister, was even going to help him and his ex plan their wedding. We've been in each others lives through sickness and in health mainly the sickness and God pulled him through each and every time and I'm so thankful I'm hurting for him right now. Our love and respect run deep and wide. I remember his dad,Pastor Noel picking me up early every Sunday morning to come to church to fellowship. His family became mine, and mine his.

I can't imagine losing a parent, so right now my mind is wandering racing a mile a minute, just like the rest of the family.
My heart hurts right now. He's not just my ex ,he's my brother he's my family and I'm praying he is ok.

We would hang out and fall into our old ways of laughing and joking like we had never missed a beat. I don't have a lot of exes but like him and a couple of others we are great friends ,and they are now like my brothers always looking out, keeping a watchful eye over me. They'll always be there for me, just like I'll always be there for them. Gosh this sucks, but I know God is in control.

People Who Exploit Children

I love Law and Order, watched it last night. Two guys who didn't like each other , are going at it. One guy decides to disclose and ridicule the other man about his child that happens to have "challenges." The man had tried to protect his kid and this other guy with no regard for the child and the guy decides to disclose the child's "challenges."

He wanted to draw a reaction out of the parent. I thought it was disgusting but the reality of it is, people do this to parents and children all the time. Happened to me, and mine, true story.

Obviously people like this are cruel , manipulative people. God help their kids or kids they know if they have any.

GUTTER

Mommy Getting Her Hustle On

Just when I thought my schedule was tight, I run into my former piano Professor. I guess I'll be pluckin off these acrylics and add her class. Guess who will be shedding on scales all weekend?

Hope You're Paying Attention

Saw this and thought of you...

My Little Caribbean Spice Girl

So the cute couple gave birth to the little bit of Curry Spice on January 16th. Happy Born Day Momma!

Serving Others

I'll be assisting in packing non perishables in care packages for our troops. For those interested in assisting with this project please inbox me.

My Heartbeat

Because every young man should be well groomed. #BathTimeFun

Good Viewing

Watched a great suspense and a black and white classic. Now I've moved onto
48 Hours Hard Evidence. Anyone that knows me, knows I love a good movie. #gluedtothetube

Have Mercy

Sometimes I wonder if and when some people will ever come 100% clean. I'm sure it won't happen when I'm around or even in my lifetime. I truly believe they can't for fear they'll be looked at as a bad person. In my opinion, they're not bad people, just people who made bad choices in judgment.

Daddy

Watching cartoons and reflecting. So my dad has been sick, and I don't mean a little sick. He's gone into hiding, much like I do when I'm feeling down or not well. Keep fighting Daddy, things will turn around. I may need to just surprise him and fly out there. What an emotional day that will be.

Women Who Settle: Question of The Day

Ladies! Whats the point of being with someone and not feeling covered. If you have to do everything on your own in your marriage, what's the point of being married, besides the fact that you can claim you're off the market?

Mini Road Trip for the Ladies

I want to take a relaxing weekend getaway . I don't really ever budget for myself in things I consider indulgent, but I'm ready to hit the road. It could be an intimate girls trip, where we laugh, cry and find closure. Or a mixed sex group, though I prefer to roll with women....my sister friends are so beautiful.

This will be a time for healing, forgiveness, letting go and receiving a renewed outlook. I have an idea of where to go, but I'm open to suggestions. Word to anyone, I do not tolerate funky attitudes, especially when I travel. Leave your cares at home and let's hit the road. All are welcome, yes I said all are welcome. Lets shed a layer of baggage and leave it there.

A Sweet Tweet

So I wake up to see this tweet waiting for me. It warmed my heart and made me smile that someone was thinking of me. And with that said, I'm off to sprinkle more love and sunshine.

Creepy

World's shortest horror story consists of only two sentences. "The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door!

Kids

So my son asked could he have some more Goldfish to snack on. I say no, wait for dinner. Couple of minutes later he strolls by me, mouth full like a little squirrel. I call him over, my tone is stern and I demand to know what he's chewing. I was convinced he had disobeyed me. He say "broccoli." The same raw broccoli I was preparing to steam for dinner. I can't even be mad at you little one.

Quotes for the Day

" Never be bullied/stalked into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.”

I used to question and ask why someone would want to pursue me in a malicious way. I was told to ignore them because obviously they were crazy. Well when you start to contaminate an innocent child, pop up at my home, blow up my phone and friend request me, I won't be able to ignore it. In fact , they are asking for trouble.

Vicious Cycle

He cheated me with_____.
He cheated on you with me. You're not so special or different sweetie.

Flaunting the fact that your Ex is a cheater, only suggest how blind, and foolish you are. You should feel ashamed of yourself to brag of such things.

Outpouring Of Love and Support

A little love and support go a long way. I'm all warm and fuzzy inside. #Thankful

Boys To Men

Nothin more moving than watching a man teach a boy the correct way to live. Lessons of being a gentleman,loving and learning God's word, being a man, hard work, compassionate, giving without expectation, being consistent and stable, knowing and understanding what true responsibility is,along with many other lessons. This should be the norm in society, but its not, so I am moved when I see it.

Happy Tears

Last night my child helped me. I was struggling to get the groceries in the house and he says, " Momma give me some bags" "Let me get the door." I swear I look at him and see evidence of God's promise. This blog entry may seem small, but I swear every time I look at him, my heart is overflowing with love and pride. My baby is becoming a big boy.

Covering The Kids

If you are not married, your kids should never see or be laid up in the bed with you and your partner. It's one thing for someone to be morally corrupt, it's a whole other thing to expose them to it.

What is the spiritual and moral compass you set for your children? What do we teach is right and wrong spiritually? Some people claim to be true believers of the word of God, expose and introduce behaviors to children. Where beside home and church is their sanctuary? These are just my personal views. How people live their life and raise their children is on their heads, just have a spirited discussion today about people who flaunt sin in front of their children.

When we give our children to God (Baptism ,dedication) you take a pledge to raise that child up in the way of the word so that he or she may not depart from it. It's a promise to God, not Joe the Smoe down the block. I digress, again, just my opinion. By no means am I perfect, but I am the shield for my child, until he has to go out into the world and face it on his own.

Security

Your feelings should always be safe and valued by the people that matter.

Beauty and Courage

Love is in The Air

I'm so excited! Going to look for a gown for myself and tux for my little man. #Wedding #Love #Family #Unity

Breakthroughs

Had the best open, safe and secure talk with him this past weekend. There is something to be said when two people can subtract the negative people and situations and get back to trusting again.

In the end it's all about God, family,love, trust and effort. We will make it!

PSA

Don't lose yourself trying to love someone, especially if they have no direction.

Lease Up, Wheels Up

I want to move to Europe! Everyday I think of ways to successfully transfer my life somewhere else. The lease is up and we've pulled out the moving boxes. The location my not another country, but it will be another city. I keep asking myself how am I going to squeeze packing, moving, another semester, closing out work, my lil one, all my lil one's affairs and saying farewell to family and friends. I'm tired, but it's LONG overdue. For years I stayed in the area to please others, as much as I love my ties...I can't and don't care anymore. Planting roots for the long haul will benefit me, but most of all it's essential when raising male children.

What a time to move, but it's been a year and this was just a temporary stay. On the couch today, totally pooped and overwhelmed by boxes. Now this gives my friends and family a reason to visit and us the same. Pacing and purging as I go. Swollen footies need a rest.

Fight!!!!!!!!

Family Time

I love me some him.

POW

I love B.B!!!

Silly Rabbit

A girl disguised as woman. You're a Queen alright, Queen of Denial LMBO!!!!! SMH,SMH Everybody knows ,everybody knows exactly how delusional you are. Keep trying, you might even convince yourself one day.

I'm Sorry Mommy

Just implemented my lil one's first real punishment. No toys and a time out. He's used to time outs but this toy take away is new. He has to learn to not take his possessions for granted. Mommy works very hard to provide the things he needs and wants.

While I hate to see him cry, I have to teach him this lesson. He knows he's done something wrong and shows remorse....he's so cute, but I won't break. He gon learn today! #Parenthood

People Who Hate You

My Life

Even the bathroom is not sacred. #Kids #Parenthood #24/7 #365

MTV

I'm not sure what show I'm watching, but it's irritating as hell. These women are obsessed with their looks, be it plastic surgery or extreme fitness and fashion and are making their daughters feel less than for not working out, wearing sexy clothes and wearing make up. One lady's breast thanks to plastic surgery is grotesque and extreme and alienates her daughter.

One lady keeps calling her daughter fat and a dork....this is abuse. Ugh, I want to shake these women!!!!

Things I Love To Read

LOL

Playful

Feeling sexy and loved...how amazing!

My Loves

My love for movies is beginning to rubbing off on my first son/nephew who is 12. We are having the best discussion on a movie we watch. I swear I'm doing something right and I thank God for being an influence. Not just with movies, but life experiences.

Teach these young men to smile, to have courage to stand up for the right thing, to learn how to handle peer pressure and most importantly love God. I am looking forward to sharing many more times like this with my boys.

Our Sons

I don't know how many times a day my child laughs, but it's a lot. Blessed to live in a home that is covered by God's love, is sound, and is peaceful.

I live to see him happy. My goal is to raise him with God, lots of love and teachable moments. I'm raising him to be a loving, productive, and an honorable man. There are so many "boys" out here parading as men, all because their birth date says they're supposed to be.

Some men are catty, lazy, sad, lost, confused, and don't truly know what it is to love, much less give love, show love, be loved, and know God's word. They slide through life....that will not be my child.

I see so many guys out here stone faced, trying to perpetuate this gangster life, it's an act and if they don't die young, they die within their soul...lost.

I continue to love and pray for our males out there, they need it.

Cry Me A River, Then Grab a Paddle

Please go cry in your pillow, have a come to Jesus moment and get over it. No need to put on a brave front, no one really cares. It's your thing, issue, your destruction, your failure and shortcomings that got you to this place.

We see you hurting and that's ok, when you lose, it can be painful. No one respects a faker, no need to front and throw up gang signs like your tough...no one cares. I for damn sure don't. I also am not phased by folks who lie and boast about make believe stories they've tried to perpetuate, I look at it as saving face. We've all done it once, the key is to not believe your own hype...that can drive you into a world of delusion if you're not already living there.

I'll Be The Bad Guy

My goal in 2012 was to be public enemy #1. I wanted to be hated, I wanted to see and feel the hatred, I wanted to push their hatred for me to the filthiest, dirty limits. I wanted to get a glimpse into the face of how ugly
one can be. I got my wish, mission accomplished.

Crazy right? Not at all, I needed to see, feel and understand one's foolishness in order to gain a better perspective. I totally took on the role of the villainess, it was different, exciting and gave so many teachable moments. The 2012 I know was full of great material. As I move into a new place of creativity, I will always be able to draw from my subjects fragile and childish personality.

My creative side was truly feed. I'm so excited to use all that I've I learned. I never lost myself in this journey...but I could see how some do. I'll never fully understand hate, because I've never hated a soul, nor do I want to.

I will always find it confusing, but I also understand as humans, upbringing, life events, and plain ole lack of self love cause people to do what they do. This sparked my interest in a Sociology class I had taken. Human Behavior at it's rawest, I was intrigued and set out to use one's bad for my gain.

When I say I am excited to really use all I've learned...words can't even express. You never have to be a victim, you never have to let hatred rule your life, you never have to forget how to love, give and show compassion. If you ever have the experience I did with such a broken person, use it. Use it to your advantage to learn and and use it for good. Sometimes people need to be made an example of.

Have A Come To Jesus Moment

Some people are still carrying their insecurity and ratchtness in 2013. What I need you to do is really believe the things you speak about. All the fake posturing is killing you. I know I damn sure don't believe it.

It's amazing to me how people go through things and then decide they ate going to color their hair join a gym, buy a pet, get a tattoo, and think no one doesn't still see their broken state of existence...you have no one fooled.

We can talk and posture before the Lord, but it's all for not if it's not sincere. God is bigger and way more smarter than you. You can fool others but you can't fool him.

Wow!!!

FedEx Field seats 79000, and you see me. I'm flattered!!
Like really of all places, of the last game of 2012 and you spotted me sir. When I got the inbox I was shocked, flattered and a little creeped out.

Happy New Year!!

“@FunnyOrTruth: If you're born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a 'Bang'”