Ars Gratia Artis

Love...How Amazing

I had a moment of clarity about 4 am Monday morning while talking to my boy. I started a post that talked about love and Valentine`s Day and romance and then it turned into something else. I talked about why I am such a romantic and the whole princess notion that was planted in my mind and heart as a child.
My computer froze up and I was unable to save it...But trust when It comes back to me mentally I will be sure to post it for you all.

I am just thanking God for all the clarity that is coming to me as of late. I see just how he is moving through me. Leaning on him is amazing and scary all at the same time. I pray that the hurt my ladybug is feeling will be occupied with productivity.(4ULADYBUG) Things happen for a reason and sometimes change is hard to handle, but that is life. Whatever God has in store will come to light exactly when it needs to. People change and that`s ok...Continue to pray for them and love them regardless. Find out who you are and where you want to go and let God do the rest.

Anywho love is a wonderful thing,(JW) I just realized I love you on so many different levels and I am feeling an incredible amount of peace that comes with that,who knew. I listen to you when you say trust in God,and believe in the things he has shown me. I am holding on to what he has revealed ,holding onto every bit of it. I am in this with you the highs and lows, to answer your question again yes I am open to you.

Standing in the need of Prayer

Last night I realized again how amazing God is. My heart was bruised and I cried to him for help and guidance. I cried last night from hurt,confusion,frustration and he dried my tears and allowed me to calm down. All my life I dreamed that one day I would have my hearts desires and to trust in God. I still believe those things it`s just I never understood why it has to be so hard sometimes. I ran the gamut of emotions last night self-doubt,sadness,fear...What was I doing wrong? Just when I thought I was winning,I finished last. Is it me? Should I do more? Should I do less?

Waiting on a word from God

I tossed and turned all night and when I woke up,I felt like I had just went to sleep hours raced by and I just wanted my mind to be clear,I hope tonight is better for me. I am still hurt,just not crying,my heart is still bruised just can`t feel the sting as much. As I took my shower the tears rolled and I asked God to deliver me from the hurt and to make it easier to bare and he did...Thank you in Jesus name. I think what helped was me saying to myself Put not your faith in man,but trust in God alone. We hurt each other everyday that`s life that`s human...God has allowed me to be a forgiving and patient individual and I am so blessed for that. I can`t miss what I never had so I will continue to pray on it and wait patiently.

Will I be saying goodbye?

I look back at how little I have accomplished as far as my demo is concerned and I feel like just giving up. I feel like there are but so many times I can ask for help. I have been here ready willing and able and I sometimes wonder am I not DIVA or bitchy enough for the game. Musicians are always busy or have a gig here and there and you have to chase them down like bounty hunters. If I could have one wish granted right now it would be to finish what I started and be able to give the world a beautiful collection of music made by me.
I don`t know folks,I feel like If I can get back in the "LAB" I may have to give up. Now don`t think I am a quitter, I can only do my part which I have tried and failed. The rest is up to everyone else who was "supposed" to help.
To be continued...