Who really cares for you? I have been living in Temple Court Apartments for a good deal of my life. I look at the situation around me and feel like I have failed my child. We are at the point where we have to wait it out and see what and if they will give us anything. Thanks to gentrification in most of the urban communities the average working joe and barely afford rent much less a house. I am one of those average joes barely making it with a child on the way. I used to think I had it all planned out. I would use this place as a stepping stone, fall in love, get married to a wonderful man, have a child and join forces to achieve some of the American dream.
None of those things happened, and now I am amongst the ranks of all the others who are really struggling. I look at my government and think they don't care. Between low pay rates, horrible health care, unaffordable housing, war, do we really stand a chance.
I am trying my best to be optimistic and keep my head up every time i enter the stench drenched hallway of my building. I try not to cry as I see rat droppings in my clothing draws and fear I will be stuck here for another year. I have called the housing authority, signed petitions, attended meeting and I guess it falls on deaf ears. Who cares for you? I lay in my bed as I watch the roaches crawl across my walls and think, my city officials don't have this worry. They don’ts have to worry about there safety or welfare.
Let's see what happens because a change has got to come.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Living Conditions@ Temple Court
Some Progress at Temple Court Apartments
Last Edited: Thursday, 19 Jul 2007, 11:52 PM EDT
Created: Thursday, 19 Jul 2007, 11:52 PM EDT
BOB BARNARD
The heat's making for another grueling night for nearly 200 DC families. Living without AC in a high-rise that with broken elevators. We first told you about the crisis at Temple Courts Wednesday night. Fox 5's Bob Barnard went back to see if anything has changed. For days, people in one DC neighborhood have been living without their stoves, then the AC went out, then they lost hot water! Now, they're being told to make appointments to shower at their apartment's rental office.
http://www.myfoxdc.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail?contentId=3827715&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1
Given a Choice, Desperate Tenants Take a Chance
__
By Marc Fisher
Thursday, June 7, 2007; Page B01
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/06/AR2007060602508.html
Taneka Wright didn't hear the gunfire that hit three people outside her apartment building one night last week because she has given up on the place and hasn't been home in weeks.
She's taken her 5-month-old baby and her two older children and is moving around to stay with parents and friends, not because of the shootings or the drug dealing or the trash or the screaming people in the hallways but because of the chronically broken-down elevators and the rat droppings in the baby's bed.
Buy This Photo
Diane Hunter is head of the Temple Courts tenant association. The District plans to buy the struggling low-income housing complex and build a mixed-income community, to which its residents could return. Story, B4. (By Marvin Joseph -- The Washington Post)
"I live on the 10th floor, and I just couldn't keep hauling the baby and her things up all those steps," Wright says. "And I ain't going to let my baby sleep with rats, no way."
So Wright is out of Temple Courts, out of a place that the federal government spent years trying to shut down, that the owner wanted to tear down and replace with fancy condos, and that most of the 211 tenants want desperately to escape.
Temple Courts, 10 blocks north of the U.S. Capitol, is next door to the notorious Sursum Corda housing project, part of a cluster of properties that developers saw as the next chapter in the District's gentrification story but that the city is intent on saving as affordable housing.
In the next week or two, the D.C. government will pay Bush Construction, owner of Temple Courts, $22.5 million for the high-rise and townhouses, where conditions were so bad last year that the District's inspectors needed 60 pages to list the housing code violations.
Then the city will start preparing to demolish its purchase. The tenants, low-income families living on federal assistance, will get vouchers for apartments elsewhere or top priority for openings in D.C. public housing. And the city will bring in a private developer to build another of the mixed-income communities that are former mayor Anthony Williams's greatest legacy: 750 units divided equally among market-rate, workforce housing aimed at nurses, police, teachers and the like, and fully subsidized housing for Temple Courts' current residents.
It took a new mayor to make this happen. When Adrian Fenty met with tenants a few weeks ago, he surprised the crowd of angry voices and frustrated faces -- as well as his own staff -- by giving the tenants a choice. They could stay put in their roach- , rat- and bedbug-infested building while the city hired a contractor to try to fix the problems around them. Or they could move out for a year while the building was rehabbed. Or they could leave for three or four years while Temple Courts was reduced to rubble and replaced by a mixed-income community where current residents would have a guaranteed place.
Fenty said to the crowd: You've been told all your life what government is going to do to you. This time, whatever you choose, right here, right now, the District will do.
The mayor's aides had contemplated no such choice, but Fenty decided that only by giving residents the power to select their future could he win their trust and cooperation.
"Everybody was silent as he explained the options, and I thought, 'Oh gosh, they'll stay with the devil they know,' " recalls D.C. Council member Tommy Wells (Ward 6), who represents the Temple Courts area. "But they came back and said, 'We want out of here.' Maybe Adrian knew they'd make the right decision, but it was a gutsy move."
The overwhelming majority in the room said Temple Courts was unsalvageable. They would take the vouchers and count on coming back to something entirely new and different. The bureaucrats exhaled in relief.
But Wells remains outraged that the owner of the complex gets to make a profit after it permitted the buildings to deteriorate so badly. "They should not be able to get away scot-free from what they've done to these folks," Wells says. "It's just unconscionable that the city has to go in there and fix up that property because Bush won't take care of it."
Bush's regional manager, Andrew Viola, says his company did all it could to keep Temple Courts in decent shape. "We're not slumlords," he says, noting that his company fixed violations cited by city inspectors. Yes, there are roaches, but "there's a reason they've been around since prehistoric times." Yes, there are rats, but "there are issues with that all over D.C. All I know is, I'm glad I'm out here in Virginia."
Viola is glad to be getting out of Temple Courts. He agrees that mixed-income communities are the right thing to build but says his company didn't see evidence that the District was willing to provide a sufficient subsidy to make such a project feasible.
David Jannarone, director of development in the deputy mayor's office, says the city will put somewhere between $30 million and $100 million of subsidies into the mixed-income project and expects to seek a developer this summer.
And then, when Temple Courts is emptied out, a couple of hundred more families will search for a place to live in an ever-more-expensive city. It's a risk Taneka Wright is eager to take, because of the promise of a better place and because "this building needs to come down. It's New Jack City in there, and I will not have rat droppings in my baby's crib."
Last Edited: Thursday, 19 Jul 2007, 11:52 PM EDT
Created: Thursday, 19 Jul 2007, 11:52 PM EDT
BOB BARNARD
The heat's making for another grueling night for nearly 200 DC families. Living without AC in a high-rise that with broken elevators. We first told you about the crisis at Temple Courts Wednesday night. Fox 5's Bob Barnard went back to see if anything has changed. For days, people in one DC neighborhood have been living without their stoves, then the AC went out, then they lost hot water! Now, they're being told to make appointments to shower at their apartment's rental office.
http://www.myfoxdc.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail?contentId=3827715&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1
Given a Choice, Desperate Tenants Take a Chance
__
By Marc Fisher
Thursday, June 7, 2007; Page B01
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/06/AR2007060602508.html
Taneka Wright didn't hear the gunfire that hit three people outside her apartment building one night last week because she has given up on the place and hasn't been home in weeks.
She's taken her 5-month-old baby and her two older children and is moving around to stay with parents and friends, not because of the shootings or the drug dealing or the trash or the screaming people in the hallways but because of the chronically broken-down elevators and the rat droppings in the baby's bed.
Buy This Photo
Diane Hunter is head of the Temple Courts tenant association. The District plans to buy the struggling low-income housing complex and build a mixed-income community, to which its residents could return. Story, B4. (By Marvin Joseph -- The Washington Post)
"I live on the 10th floor, and I just couldn't keep hauling the baby and her things up all those steps," Wright says. "And I ain't going to let my baby sleep with rats, no way."
So Wright is out of Temple Courts, out of a place that the federal government spent years trying to shut down, that the owner wanted to tear down and replace with fancy condos, and that most of the 211 tenants want desperately to escape.
Temple Courts, 10 blocks north of the U.S. Capitol, is next door to the notorious Sursum Corda housing project, part of a cluster of properties that developers saw as the next chapter in the District's gentrification story but that the city is intent on saving as affordable housing.
In the next week or two, the D.C. government will pay Bush Construction, owner of Temple Courts, $22.5 million for the high-rise and townhouses, where conditions were so bad last year that the District's inspectors needed 60 pages to list the housing code violations.
Then the city will start preparing to demolish its purchase. The tenants, low-income families living on federal assistance, will get vouchers for apartments elsewhere or top priority for openings in D.C. public housing. And the city will bring in a private developer to build another of the mixed-income communities that are former mayor Anthony Williams's greatest legacy: 750 units divided equally among market-rate, workforce housing aimed at nurses, police, teachers and the like, and fully subsidized housing for Temple Courts' current residents.
It took a new mayor to make this happen. When Adrian Fenty met with tenants a few weeks ago, he surprised the crowd of angry voices and frustrated faces -- as well as his own staff -- by giving the tenants a choice. They could stay put in their roach- , rat- and bedbug-infested building while the city hired a contractor to try to fix the problems around them. Or they could move out for a year while the building was rehabbed. Or they could leave for three or four years while Temple Courts was reduced to rubble and replaced by a mixed-income community where current residents would have a guaranteed place.
Fenty said to the crowd: You've been told all your life what government is going to do to you. This time, whatever you choose, right here, right now, the District will do.
The mayor's aides had contemplated no such choice, but Fenty decided that only by giving residents the power to select their future could he win their trust and cooperation.
"Everybody was silent as he explained the options, and I thought, 'Oh gosh, they'll stay with the devil they know,' " recalls D.C. Council member Tommy Wells (Ward 6), who represents the Temple Courts area. "But they came back and said, 'We want out of here.' Maybe Adrian knew they'd make the right decision, but it was a gutsy move."
The overwhelming majority in the room said Temple Courts was unsalvageable. They would take the vouchers and count on coming back to something entirely new and different. The bureaucrats exhaled in relief.
But Wells remains outraged that the owner of the complex gets to make a profit after it permitted the buildings to deteriorate so badly. "They should not be able to get away scot-free from what they've done to these folks," Wells says. "It's just unconscionable that the city has to go in there and fix up that property because Bush won't take care of it."
Bush's regional manager, Andrew Viola, says his company did all it could to keep Temple Courts in decent shape. "We're not slumlords," he says, noting that his company fixed violations cited by city inspectors. Yes, there are roaches, but "there's a reason they've been around since prehistoric times." Yes, there are rats, but "there are issues with that all over D.C. All I know is, I'm glad I'm out here in Virginia."
Viola is glad to be getting out of Temple Courts. He agrees that mixed-income communities are the right thing to build but says his company didn't see evidence that the District was willing to provide a sufficient subsidy to make such a project feasible.
David Jannarone, director of development in the deputy mayor's office, says the city will put somewhere between $30 million and $100 million of subsidies into the mixed-income project and expects to seek a developer this summer.
And then, when Temple Courts is emptied out, a couple of hundred more families will search for a place to live in an ever-more-expensive city. It's a risk Taneka Wright is eager to take, because of the promise of a better place and because "this building needs to come down. It's New Jack City in there, and I will not have rat droppings in my baby's crib."
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Fragile
Sometimes a brave front is hard to keep up. I have some good days and the bad days I try my best to ignore the bad ones. I try to pretend they don't happen and then something will tip me off. I think holding it in sometimes just causes me to implode and then explode eventually when someone says something or I see something I can't hold it in.
I find myself holed up in my apartment because I can think in quiet as my mind races. I am always trying to figure out a plan and what I can do to make life a little bit less complicated. I don't answer the phone, not because I am avoiding, I just may not have anything to talk about or I may be really emotional and I don't feel like opening my wounds any more than I already have.
I know that God is always in control but I recognize that I hate not knowing what is around the corner for me. When I was a kid my home life was really jacked up, I remember brief times where I was worry free. I remember times when I did actually play but there was always pain soon to follow. I remember my mother beaten down, times she wanted to give up and I remember trying to cheer her up. I never felt steady because I never knew what was going to happen next. I never really had a stable home where there was no crying, screaming or people hurting each other. I try my best to block out the memories but they have been rushing back to me as of late. I figure what a better time than now to have flashbacks right? Wrong.
I guess I never really dealt with the ghosts in my past or the Devil has devised a plan to set me back. I feel very fragile, tired, drained, and overwhelmed lately. I am assuming it's the pregnancy as well as stress. I have learned during pregnancy it is best to try and keep a good attitude and surround yourself with positive people. I am doing my best to stay active but I can never get my body to actually get up and move. I can sit down and become glued to whatever I decided to sit or lay on. I sit and sit and sit as my mind drifts and then I fall asleep. I enjoy feeling my child twist and turn and even cause my tummy to protrude, how amazing. I am trying to accept that there are some hormonal changes going on I just hate when I feel fragile and weak. It's almost over and I can't wait to get my mind and body back.
I find myself holed up in my apartment because I can think in quiet as my mind races. I am always trying to figure out a plan and what I can do to make life a little bit less complicated. I don't answer the phone, not because I am avoiding, I just may not have anything to talk about or I may be really emotional and I don't feel like opening my wounds any more than I already have.
I know that God is always in control but I recognize that I hate not knowing what is around the corner for me. When I was a kid my home life was really jacked up, I remember brief times where I was worry free. I remember times when I did actually play but there was always pain soon to follow. I remember my mother beaten down, times she wanted to give up and I remember trying to cheer her up. I never felt steady because I never knew what was going to happen next. I never really had a stable home where there was no crying, screaming or people hurting each other. I try my best to block out the memories but they have been rushing back to me as of late. I figure what a better time than now to have flashbacks right? Wrong.
I guess I never really dealt with the ghosts in my past or the Devil has devised a plan to set me back. I feel very fragile, tired, drained, and overwhelmed lately. I am assuming it's the pregnancy as well as stress. I have learned during pregnancy it is best to try and keep a good attitude and surround yourself with positive people. I am doing my best to stay active but I can never get my body to actually get up and move. I can sit down and become glued to whatever I decided to sit or lay on. I sit and sit and sit as my mind drifts and then I fall asleep. I enjoy feeling my child twist and turn and even cause my tummy to protrude, how amazing. I am trying to accept that there are some hormonal changes going on I just hate when I feel fragile and weak. It's almost over and I can't wait to get my mind and body back.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Honesty
I was talking to my grade school friend the other day and she said something to me that was a bit surprising. She said she was encouraged by my strength. I had to make a decision and it was fairly easy once I finally got some sense. The road ahead is another story altogether and not as easy. Leaving my child’s father was easy because I realized that men are more evolved and should be there for there women especially if there are with child. He made it clear that he was not serious about being in a relationship or me and to really clear when he hit it on the head and said “We were in a flaky relationship". I knew then I had made the right choice to move on. The sad part was I really loved him for everything he was and was willing to forgive all the things he was not. All I ever wanted from him was love, intimacy beyond the bedroom, affection, spiritual growth, friendship, kindness, passion and compassion. He once said I was the kind of woman he would marry, interesting, surprising, and crazy. I thought I had met the one and I bragged that I never wanted to kiss another man for the rest of my life. At one point I thought God was telling me to be patient, hold on, have faith, he is your husband and he will be everything I have shown you. I think I ran wild with that and tried to reap the reward if any way too soon. I may have been disillusioned and just saw in him what I wanted to see, what I wanted him to be. I may have willed myself to really believe and reality was he was not playing for keeps but for what was comfortable in the now and not the future. I know who I am and flaky is so not me. I crave a stable life free of my generational curses and failure. I ask Christ/God to plant the seed of healing and forgiveness in my heart so that he his will can be done in my life. “Use me Lord to show someone the way, and enable me to say my storage is empty, and I am available to you”.
I am still human and the rawness of all that has transpired still draws tears to my eyes but they don’t last long at least not as of late. I accept the fact that I am just the woman carrying his child and that what I thought was friendship was just a comfortable set up he was floating on until the next thing that caught his interest came by. I am being reborn with each new day and I know that even though 1 man did not love me I know God does and he’s crazy about me. I am slowly leaving that scared little girl behind and rejecting anything that resembles flakiness, wishwashiness, madness, mayhem, and foolishness.
I don't do anything flaky because I am an adult and childish ways should be behind me and under my feet like the devil who loves to keep us running in place. You can watch your friends and family surpass you and he’s laughing all the while as you try to catch up. I know me and the direction I want to go and forward is the only way to go for me. I accepted his flakiness I acknowledge my part and I had to pay the price, like my mother would say “A hard head makes a soft behind”. The hard part was knowing he would never support me and that I stayed way too long. I really opened my heart and was interested in a really honest, love infested relationship. I allowed my need quest for love to overlook my morals. I fornicated and played house thinking I would get house and love in return. God said not so but I know your tired, I know your heart desires to be one and not lead a single life but that's not how you go about it. Many times I lie there crying inside because I knew I was in the wrong. God was speaking to me to be obedient and I still did as I pleased. I strayed away from church and I noticed that I was becoming more and more unhappy because I was not living right. I was longing for inner peace, it did not matter how nice and happy I appeared on the outside I was not content on the inside. I see where I went wrong because I allowed my longing for love to cloud my vision. I did not take the time to study the character and fell for what I thought could be. I did not have Christ with me/us in the relationship, which was something I always longed to have. I always wanted to spiritually grow with a mate. Sometimes we don't want to hear the honesty in things, but God will always reveal it to you. I always ask God to tell me who I am and show me the direction I should go, this is my constant prayer.
There was times when it felt so good (sex) but there was always the feeling of emptiness that lingered within. Many times God would call to me saying how you can lie in this bed of sin knowing it's not my will. Your dreams will never be realized this way, be obedient or you will suffer. My God look how you work and I can't afford to fail you, myself or this child any longer. I knew some things in me had to be broken down and reconstructed and I am more humble for it. Looking back I see how things feel apart between us because there was the absence of Christ/God in the relationship. I guess I am strong even when I don't think I am. It's almost over and even though it was horrible starting out it eventually got better because he is a provider amongst many things. God is such a forgiving God.
My cousin called me brave and I was blown away at that. I never looked at myself that way I guess because she has her husband and they love each other and really try to work together. My circle is really sad about the outcome but I realize I fell for someone for who I thought he was and who I thought he could be and that was not the case at least not mine. I guess when you get down to the wire you see a persons true character. I am sure he will fall in love if not in love with whomever he is with now, he will lavish them with all they need and mean what he says next time, I still pray for his peace of mind and happiness. I remember him saying I would do all he can to be here for you and the baby, I guess that was his flaky side talking because it never happened. I can't be mad or sad anymore, I made the choice to believe in him and believe what he said.
I kept the secret of why I was having this child with me and I could not hold it any longer. He felt as if he lost when I was against it. I felt horrible knowing that I could be taking something away from someone, especially knowing they really wanted it. I felt like I would be the bad guy and I would disappoint everyone. I was under a lot of pressure and caved. I know in the end this will be a great reward but I learned that I have to be stronger and not concede to someone else’s wishes and to be obedient. In the end you have to be happy and in this lesson I learned how to be brave and strong even when you think you are all alone your not. I just say what I feel now and I could care less at this point. Gone are the days that I just allow folks to do and say whatever to me. If you aint right trust me I will let you know especially if it concerns me. My sister/friend says God has not given you the spirit of fear. My friend and my cousin called me brave and strong and sometimes I don't feel that way but I know now that people are watching I have to press on and own up to those words. I feel just a little bit lighter now, a little more free letting all that out.
Thank you Jesus
I am still human and the rawness of all that has transpired still draws tears to my eyes but they don’t last long at least not as of late. I accept the fact that I am just the woman carrying his child and that what I thought was friendship was just a comfortable set up he was floating on until the next thing that caught his interest came by. I am being reborn with each new day and I know that even though 1 man did not love me I know God does and he’s crazy about me. I am slowly leaving that scared little girl behind and rejecting anything that resembles flakiness, wishwashiness, madness, mayhem, and foolishness.
I don't do anything flaky because I am an adult and childish ways should be behind me and under my feet like the devil who loves to keep us running in place. You can watch your friends and family surpass you and he’s laughing all the while as you try to catch up. I know me and the direction I want to go and forward is the only way to go for me. I accepted his flakiness I acknowledge my part and I had to pay the price, like my mother would say “A hard head makes a soft behind”. The hard part was knowing he would never support me and that I stayed way too long. I really opened my heart and was interested in a really honest, love infested relationship. I allowed my need quest for love to overlook my morals. I fornicated and played house thinking I would get house and love in return. God said not so but I know your tired, I know your heart desires to be one and not lead a single life but that's not how you go about it. Many times I lie there crying inside because I knew I was in the wrong. God was speaking to me to be obedient and I still did as I pleased. I strayed away from church and I noticed that I was becoming more and more unhappy because I was not living right. I was longing for inner peace, it did not matter how nice and happy I appeared on the outside I was not content on the inside. I see where I went wrong because I allowed my longing for love to cloud my vision. I did not take the time to study the character and fell for what I thought could be. I did not have Christ with me/us in the relationship, which was something I always longed to have. I always wanted to spiritually grow with a mate. Sometimes we don't want to hear the honesty in things, but God will always reveal it to you. I always ask God to tell me who I am and show me the direction I should go, this is my constant prayer.
There was times when it felt so good (sex) but there was always the feeling of emptiness that lingered within. Many times God would call to me saying how you can lie in this bed of sin knowing it's not my will. Your dreams will never be realized this way, be obedient or you will suffer. My God look how you work and I can't afford to fail you, myself or this child any longer. I knew some things in me had to be broken down and reconstructed and I am more humble for it. Looking back I see how things feel apart between us because there was the absence of Christ/God in the relationship. I guess I am strong even when I don't think I am. It's almost over and even though it was horrible starting out it eventually got better because he is a provider amongst many things. God is such a forgiving God.
My cousin called me brave and I was blown away at that. I never looked at myself that way I guess because she has her husband and they love each other and really try to work together. My circle is really sad about the outcome but I realize I fell for someone for who I thought he was and who I thought he could be and that was not the case at least not mine. I guess when you get down to the wire you see a persons true character. I am sure he will fall in love if not in love with whomever he is with now, he will lavish them with all they need and mean what he says next time, I still pray for his peace of mind and happiness. I remember him saying I would do all he can to be here for you and the baby, I guess that was his flaky side talking because it never happened. I can't be mad or sad anymore, I made the choice to believe in him and believe what he said.
I kept the secret of why I was having this child with me and I could not hold it any longer. He felt as if he lost when I was against it. I felt horrible knowing that I could be taking something away from someone, especially knowing they really wanted it. I felt like I would be the bad guy and I would disappoint everyone. I was under a lot of pressure and caved. I know in the end this will be a great reward but I learned that I have to be stronger and not concede to someone else’s wishes and to be obedient. In the end you have to be happy and in this lesson I learned how to be brave and strong even when you think you are all alone your not. I just say what I feel now and I could care less at this point. Gone are the days that I just allow folks to do and say whatever to me. If you aint right trust me I will let you know especially if it concerns me. My sister/friend says God has not given you the spirit of fear. My friend and my cousin called me brave and strong and sometimes I don't feel that way but I know now that people are watching I have to press on and own up to those words. I feel just a little bit lighter now, a little more free letting all that out.
Thank you Jesus
Ramblings
So I missed work yesterday due to the Iraq like explosions that have been going off in my neighborhood. It's bad enough that I barely sleep anymore because I can't get comfortable but I am usually in a light sleep only to be startled by the fireworks. They sound like the world is coming to an end and it's usually followed by car alarms and childish laughter. This usually goes on into the wee hours of the night and usually end about 3 am. Fun right? Wrong so wrong.
I did get some sleep last night due to the fact the police literally posted up outside my building. The Housing Authority has taken over the building along with the police and I am just waiting to see what will happen next. They want us to move but have nowhere for us to go. I know GOD will provide and I am just done with worrying about it. If push comes to shove I will lock my stuff up in storage and find a shelter.My friends who want me to move in with them but I am not interested in a temporary home,I love them dearly for the effort but I got to take care of myself. It's not a pride thing but I have been placed in this situation for a reason I am a learning lessons from it everyday.
My mother is that type of woman, and she did all she could and had to do to provide a stable home for my sisters and me, why should I do any different. Ah the joys of being a single mother. My hats off to the women who came before me and worked it out. I thought about that as I climbed the urine drenched stairs. I usually get a thought or two when I have to climb them due to the continued elevator outages. I know some folk’s wonder why don't I just move and I just laugh on the inside. Where in the world am I going to go? Has anyone seen the prices for rent and mortgages lately? All I can do is trust that God will continue to provide food and shelter for us and I am done letting the devil see my tears. I could be worse off, no food, no home, no job, no friends and family. I thank God for all my blessings even when things seem to be the darkest. Sometimes things can be so overwhelming and you just don't know which way to turn, eventually once I get the strength I turn to God and just cry out...Help me.
So my AC is on the fake out and I literally sweat it out all night because it will pretend to come on and then decide it has better things to do. I have my trusty fan that does the best it can by me and I appreciate the loyalty.
I can fit my shoes again, let's see how long that last.
I tried to get comfortable in bed the other day and my baby had other plans. I went to pull myself over and turn and once I did I felt the craziest pain. I don't know if it was the head or the butt or an arm but it was poking out so much it hurt. I vowed to myself to be more careful next time because it was not a good feeling. I love to watch my tummy jump and move as my child gets into any position it dang well chooses. Someone asked me If I talked to my baby and I said no, I only said no because I thought It was a stupid question. If you know me then you know I talk to my child and pray for my child and even rub my belly to somehow bond and transfer some love to my child... Do I talk to my child, funny question. If you don't know that I do then it is safe to assume you don't know much about me.
So far I have been trying to enjoy my summer with fun filled activates. I have surrounded myself with people who love me and know what it's like to relax and have a good time. I have been to Canaan Valley which I plan on going back to in August and VA beach my favorite place to play in the water. I have a NYC trip planned to visit my Auntie who is overjoyed about my pregnancy. I really want to go back to the beach again just once more. I love VA beach for some reason. I have to make the best of my summer and I have twice the excitement for next.
I have a tendency to say things at times that folks don’t get are a jokes, come on really can't you tell when I am being a smart butt. If we aint cool, what makes you think I am not going to be sarcastic with you.
I did get some sleep last night due to the fact the police literally posted up outside my building. The Housing Authority has taken over the building along with the police and I am just waiting to see what will happen next. They want us to move but have nowhere for us to go. I know GOD will provide and I am just done with worrying about it. If push comes to shove I will lock my stuff up in storage and find a shelter.My friends who want me to move in with them but I am not interested in a temporary home,I love them dearly for the effort but I got to take care of myself. It's not a pride thing but I have been placed in this situation for a reason I am a learning lessons from it everyday.
My mother is that type of woman, and she did all she could and had to do to provide a stable home for my sisters and me, why should I do any different. Ah the joys of being a single mother. My hats off to the women who came before me and worked it out. I thought about that as I climbed the urine drenched stairs. I usually get a thought or two when I have to climb them due to the continued elevator outages. I know some folk’s wonder why don't I just move and I just laugh on the inside. Where in the world am I going to go? Has anyone seen the prices for rent and mortgages lately? All I can do is trust that God will continue to provide food and shelter for us and I am done letting the devil see my tears. I could be worse off, no food, no home, no job, no friends and family. I thank God for all my blessings even when things seem to be the darkest. Sometimes things can be so overwhelming and you just don't know which way to turn, eventually once I get the strength I turn to God and just cry out...Help me.
So my AC is on the fake out and I literally sweat it out all night because it will pretend to come on and then decide it has better things to do. I have my trusty fan that does the best it can by me and I appreciate the loyalty.
I can fit my shoes again, let's see how long that last.
I tried to get comfortable in bed the other day and my baby had other plans. I went to pull myself over and turn and once I did I felt the craziest pain. I don't know if it was the head or the butt or an arm but it was poking out so much it hurt. I vowed to myself to be more careful next time because it was not a good feeling. I love to watch my tummy jump and move as my child gets into any position it dang well chooses. Someone asked me If I talked to my baby and I said no, I only said no because I thought It was a stupid question. If you know me then you know I talk to my child and pray for my child and even rub my belly to somehow bond and transfer some love to my child... Do I talk to my child, funny question. If you don't know that I do then it is safe to assume you don't know much about me.
So far I have been trying to enjoy my summer with fun filled activates. I have surrounded myself with people who love me and know what it's like to relax and have a good time. I have been to Canaan Valley which I plan on going back to in August and VA beach my favorite place to play in the water. I have a NYC trip planned to visit my Auntie who is overjoyed about my pregnancy. I really want to go back to the beach again just once more. I love VA beach for some reason. I have to make the best of my summer and I have twice the excitement for next.
I have a tendency to say things at times that folks don’t get are a jokes, come on really can't you tell when I am being a smart butt. If we aint cool, what makes you think I am not going to be sarcastic with you.
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