The way things are

So I have been volunteering for several years now in some way shape or form. This was my first time for the DCRCC. I was not in the best of spirits but I was glad that I pulled myself together to make it out the house that day. I had to put my feeling aside and go out and spread some knowledge. I enjoyed talking with the people who stopped by our table and I really got a kick out of the kids.

It's interesting to think back to when I first meet him, it felt so good to be with him. I felt a beautiful energy between us. I remember he told me a couple months in that he thought he "found the person for him" I was like oh wow, I was pleasantly surprised. Funny that's not the case anymore I know everyone has the freedom to change there mind and he did exactly that. I was the one that never changed my position, I was still that woman who wanted to explore our possibilities and grow together. I never changed my mind about him even through his shadiness and indecisiveness.
A couple of weeks ago when I thought I had reached my limit, I asked him to stop calling. If we were done let it be done and he still called trying to get a hold of me. If you moved on and I told I understood you did not and would not give me the things we needed, why not just leave me be. Talk about mixed signals, I really believed he wanted more because of the things he said and did... only for him to say his persistent calling was just to make sure I was ok....HUH??? I was, what else would I be? I would have cried eventually and missed the hell out of him, but I was making a stand to cut things off and go my way, why call even after I told you not to.(I love him more than he knows)

I look back now to the first time we meet and our first kiss that night and I told him that I knew, I knew right there and then. I told him, I saw his son in his eye as we kissed on the streets of DC. Now there is nothing left about us, just the words on this blog. I guess I could compare it to when you pluck the petals off a flower, you pluck till there is nothing left but you remember how pretty it used to be.