Well Looka Here!

Audition confirmation came, kinda hyped and nervous at the same time. I ran into this particular director when I was looking for casting work for a client I was working with last year. Who knew I would be asked to audition for their show. I got my sides and I am going to dive in. So much for not working before November. All I wanted to do was study and work until holiday rehearsals started. This is worth it, and the description sounds intriguing.

Just Say A Prayer

Saying a pray for all the low self esteemers. Stop trying to treat me badly because you hate yourself. I LOVE my life with or without your drama.

Let The Church Say Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not everyone who is single is lonely, not everyone who is taken is in love. I love my relationship situation, works for me lol!

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ok crunch time! Edits, Edits, Edits...RFP here we come. Babies are feed, clothes are washing, TV is off...time to get to typing. I hate the pressure of deadlines, but I do some of my best work under pressure and time constants. Ok Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'll talk to you later.

You Don't Really Love Him If...

I remember when she suggested I take him off child support. That would prove to her and him, that I was really over him. Sounded to me like she wanted to free up her man's cash flow. She was just short of telling me he should sign his rights away. Some people can be so selfish and self centered. Why would you ever try to take food off of a child's plate????

A Friend

Exactly!

Resourcefulness

Resourcefulness is a good trait to have. I was able to snag some uniform pants from the thrift store for my lil one. Momma will redye them and then take them to the cleaners to have them double starched. All that's left is school supplies and some brand new shirts. You have to do what you have to do when you are on a budget and if you're not...why not try and save some money anyway. So parents...be resourceful!! If you don't have it and your money has to be placed in other areas...think of ways like I did with the thrift store to save. My car leaks on the inside and overheats...so my money is placed elsewhere. It's important for me to make sure the lil one has a great summer, food on the table and all the bills paid, so shopping smart helps.

Thank God the guy that looks at my car came by , I know he won't kill me on price and I'll still be able to take my baby somewhere cool. When you have bills and kids, you can only do your best in preparing for anything. Folks who don't have kids...just ignore them..."they ain't about that life", and have not a leg to stand on...all they will be able to give is examples of what they have seen others do...but have never actually do the work themselves.

Parents, if you are trying to save money and want to do something nice for yourself. Go to the Hair School instead of the salon...or do like I do and get with your friends and do each others hair...works for me. I called myself treating myself to getting my hair done for Mother's Day...spent $100.00. The hair was super fab...but I knew going forward I could not keep that up financially. Called my homegirl who braids her booty off...paid her $25.00 and finished up myself...WHALAH!

I encourage you , parents or not to be resourceful. Perhaps one day, I will use my thrifty ways to finally take a real vacation somewhere warm and on a tropical island with an umbrella in my drink as I watch the lil one play in the sand. Until that time, work and school.....pressing for a better tomorrow.

Today Was...

Disappointing from a professional, emotional, verbal and mental standpoint. Not for me but for a colleague. All I can do is pray for a better tomorrow ,and the words I left them with will help them move forward in a more productive way.  Managing people has it's ups and downs...today was a down. There is a true disconnect between  our youth and our more seasoned generation. In my staff meetings I continually drive home the point of "making a positive impact" on the lives of our young people, It is imperative to not just their future but ours.

I hate having to feel torn about disciplining my staff, because I know that some days will be good and some days will be bad...today was really, really bad. Today was a misstep and I am just thankful that I did not have to let them go. Please Lord, allow them to leave their stress and troubles at home and do their best for our kids.

Phew

Classes are picked out just about...goodness I always get so nervous around this time. Now I will really start on my lil one's schedule even though it's pretty much done...I've tailored mine to revolve around his. With kids you sacrifice, it's not about what works for you, it's about what works for them. So if you're trying to go party, vacation, hang out with friends...you better make sure they are covered first. I don't do ANYTHING without making sure my lil one is covered. I wish all parents did that...but hey that would be too much like right. Raising him alone has definitely taught me some things, and I am so thankful.

Who knew I could do it...well God knew. I never thought I couldn't when I first got pregnant....but then having some help from my family and friends certainly lightened the load and still does. We all work together to make sure things work...it takes a village. I was scared out my mind, but then as time, schedule and determination kicked in....we were operating in full swing. I still am able to see him off to school, get to work, make it to class, make it home, help with his and do my own homework, dinner, shower and bed....that's an average day. We still manage to have fun weekends when money and transportation permits...sometimes together and sometimes apart. I am really blessed, sometimes I don't deserve it, but God still makes it happen. No sick days for Mommies, too much work to be done...but I don't mind, I am just thankful for being able to see another day and the strength to get through it. Amen

Truth Be Told

Truth is I did sleep with him....and it was amazing. When you're at work, away on business, visiting friends and family on vacation... and I will do it again. I don't care about your feelings, what you think you have with him, what you're building or think you're building, it is just as good as it was when we first met. I don't care about you, could care less .  I wouldn't sit there because we did it there too.

Juggle Juggle

Eatin cake, registering for Fall Semester, working on job transitions. Sending work and personal emails, Ya know a Sistah gotta keep the coins coming on for the little one. Searching the most affordable sites for baby boy's uniforms...my work is never done...ahhh what a way to spend a lunch break lol.

Horrific

http://bossip.com/616222/9-yr-old-boy-kicks-beats-attacks-daycare-girls-and-ghetto-family-is-embarrassed-he-bad-just-a-normal-kid-video69691/

Heart Break

Sorry about the loss of any life, especially a child. R.I.P. Kile Foster, praying for Tameka Foster and all parents who have to bury their children.

Judging for No Reason

If someone "Hates" you for no reason......give those idiots a reason.

Idiot!

Oh I am pointing it out, and it is unacceptable for you to act like an idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Relations

Sex with the ex.....so much better when your not technically together....hummmm

Where Are Your Priorities Terrell..And The Rest Of You Losers??

Some people think it's ok to not support their kids. They have money to support their cars, prostitutes, women/groupies, lavish trips, drugs and alcohol ...but can't pay their child support. Where are your priorities??? If you can't pay to support your child you need not have access to all of the mentioned above. LOSER! I say put them under the jail.

http://www.rhymeswithsnitch.com/2012/07/terrell-owens-avoids-jail-time.html#more

Storm

The lil person can't sleep...I don't blame him, the storm is pretty fierce.

The Little Ones

Ok, my lil one says to me..."Momma I'm in love with you", me..."Oh baby I'm in love with you too." Then he proceeds to ask me can I but him a dinosaur and he can live outside because it'll be too big to fit into our building. Hilarious!!

My Second Home, Always Good Times

I forgot to take a picture of the crowd at the opening of the museum...I know I suck lol.

It Can Happen

In life bad, unfortunate, sad, unavoidable things happen. Some people never recover and get lost in the shuffle of life. Then there are the people who bounce back, better than before. Pessimist , naysayers, and people who believe they are the end all be all find it hard to believe that people who bounce back, couldn't, can't and don't. They convince themselves of this because it helps them sleep at night ,and it makes them feel better about themselves. They have to keep telling themselves you are nothing, nobody, sad, hurt and festering because it's the only way to justify their mess, when the reality of it, your life and the blessings are pouring in so...that your hands and heart is full. It doesn't matter if they have to lie to themselves, they need it, and they will replay it to themselves and regurgitate it to others because they believe it can't happen. It can happen! I am always in awe of the resilience found when you decide to pick up the piece of your life, trust God and live well. He is a keeper. People like this, know, no inner peace...that's what they go on smear campaigns, they are the equivalent to dirty politicians. Always wanting to present an innocent, trustworthy appearance...all the while they are having affairs and fathering children outside their marriage, stealing money, paying folks off to disparage and take down their perceived (in their mind) opponent. Some people will believe they hold your happiness in their hands. You make your own happiness by trust GOD!


So don't fall for the smoke and mirrors folks. There is only so much foolishness one can take. It's funny how the moment you light their asses up, they lay down like an innocent lamb....PLEASE NO ONE IS BUYING IT! Their hands are still dirty to this day. It's not until they are in jeopardy of losing their teeth and having their wig snapped back and their dirty laundry aired that the song and dance changes. They will try and convince folks you are mad, hurt, sad and upset , when the truth of the matter is they know nothing about you or your life.They will push and push and push you, because they want you to snap. They want you to lose your cool so they can point the finger and say "see".They want you to fulfill all those stereotypes we have come to know and not like. They will be quick to tell people "See the babymomma this or the babydaddy was acting like...
Move along folks, no show to see here...I am way to classy, beautiful and dignified to give you that. But there are people who like a show, and while I am a showgirl...I won't allow anyone who is desperate to make me degrade myself.

It's always amazing to me when people project their mess onto you. They want you to assimilate and "get with their program" because it's what they want. It does not interest me, and I actually find it very selfish when people do that. I know what I have is invaluable and folks would do anything to get it...and they just very well may make into forth place....but they will never have my spot, EVER. When you play dirty and try to win unfairly, when caught you get disqualified.

So to all my people in the struggle and caught up in the fray...IT CAN HAPPEN. People will portray you as a quitter, sad, a loser, unhappy,...but you know who you are and most importantly God knows who you are. Tell those unfortunate souls to hold hands.........huddle close......then jump off a bridge LMBO!

*It is my personal opinion that the use of the word Babymomma or Babydaddy is one of the most  degrading, stereotypical, idiotic things people can use as part of their vocabulary. It is also my opinion that if you have ever used it to reference someone in a disparaging way you are not only disrespectful but part of the cancer of this society.

You Might Be A Little Desperate If...

Ladies, If you have to sneak into your man's phone...you might be a little desperate. If you felt the backwards need to then call his Ex and lie, be rude, spiteful and malicious, you might be a little desperate. STOP CALLING YOUR BOYFRIEND'S EXGIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am I The New Mrs.? Part 2

My Grandmother aka Mrs. Everyone and their Momma looked to her. Grace, just the right amount of spice, and a killer British Caribbean accent. I miss her. When she died my whole family looked to me to plan her funeral...and now my whole family looks to me to solve, plan, give advice, love....It's a lot but I would not trade it. Here is our Mrs. and Skipper aka Grandad in South America and the family gathering I put together earlier this year. Family!

The room was totally packed by the end of the night. I got so emotional because since losing Mrs. we were all back together under one roof. Next time I am going to try and Skype in our family in The UK, South America and Canada.

The Decisions We Make

 Inspired by parts of Eat, Pray,Love

"The only thing harder than staying, was leaving." Eat, Pray, Love

"I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I did."

I made the decision when I was four months pregnant to end the relationship with my child's father. It had to be one of the hardest and scariest decisions I have ever made in my life...but in the end I had to choose myself. Trust me I heard every judgment out the wazoo, " stay, how could you?, force yourself" Well I would like to think that when you are with someone you paddle upstream together and coast and float when the water is calm together. At that time, none of that was happening and I was done being accepting of complacency. There was a growing life in me and I had no time to just sit on my tail and spin. I have to make clear decisions that would and could lead to a better tomorrow. I was taking a chance, but I did not have the liberty of having a partner who was that helpful at the time. It was time to grow up and not just take part, when I knew I deserved all. I was scared, I was a babe in relationship maturity, but I had the sense to know God had more for me. I had sense enough to know I had worth. I had to remember my self worth, where my help came from, where my beauty rest. I could no longer willingly and openly fornicate and sit in church...my soul was growing increasingly irritated by it. I could not say I stand for my father and then lie on my back for me. Now of course I know I am not perfect and have not always done things that were pleasing to him...but when you know better then you do better...and you try, try again...but if you're living it daily and you are conscience of it, you can't justify your mess to anyone.


I left and I never looked back...not even once. No suggestions, no hints, signs of wanting to backtrack, just forward. Too afraid to look back for fear I might turn to salt...I kept running forward. Was it the best, right, or rational decision at the time...I am not sure? Some asked why I didn't go back, try to make it work...at the time I just didn't want to so I kept it moving. My goal was to become that of a phantom. Only one you saw was my child, no calls,emails,cards, or visits from me...just my child. He was and is the only one that mattered. I didn't want anyone assuming or trying to influence any reunions...my life was and is floating in a sea of peace...no need to rock my boat. What I am sure of is that God kept me. He provided EVERYTHING my child and I needed. When things happened that seemed tough or confusing, I never questioned God because my faith rested in him. Now I am not telling women to do what I did, but know your worth and uphold it, especially when others don't. Love yourself, love on yourself and push yourself to do it mostly when you don't feel like it.

Having left that relationship at the state that was in or going into was not conducive to my lifestyle, my health and the health of my then unborn child. I would hold and caresses my belly and have long drawn out conversations with God, asking him to guide me. I would say "Ok Lord, I made the break, now where?' Before you know it I found strength not just in myself but in numbers. I knew I was not alone and I never would be. Doors were and still open for me and I am so humble and grateful. I started writing music again, accepting gigs, shows, consulting opportunities, and events to coordinate. I was being used and still am by God...all because I decided to be obedient.

It was scary because I didn't know how to raise a child on my own. I had raised my sisters, but never my own child. Along the way, I learned I was capable of doing more than I gave myself credit for. If God sees it in me, then I needed to see it in myself. He is who I draw my strength and my help comes from. Stand by your decision and if it all goes to pot, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again. I am thankful. I made a decision, stood by it scared and all and asked God to lead the way. So many blessings and self discovery came about, just out of me taking a leap of faith. Again, I am not saying leave your partners and raise your children on your own because that may not work for you. Both people are responsible for how a relationship goes, be sure you do all you were supposed to do to contribute to it's success, if you don't there is no one to blame but the two involved. I will say this, love yourself the way you want to be loved, don't wait for someone to do it for you.

I decided to choose my God, my child and myself and stand firm on that, no regrets.

Good Ole Fashioned Foolishness and Fuckery

 http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Fuckery

There are certain people in this world who like to call others crazy, simply because they have nothing worth while to say. They try to fool people with fuckery, smoke and mirrors to divert attention away from themselves all while trying to dismiss, degrade and slander you....all based on lies. Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

It usually starts when they are fed lies and just plain ole incorrect information. Then they take it out into the world and spread it like a vile piece of cancer. I like to call people like this imbeciles and blind followers. They are usually faithful servants to their host because they lack any clear self esteem and basic common sense. 

They don't know to follow their first mind, and even if they know the correct path...they are so far in, they will continue to spew, defend and perpetuate fuckery....all because they know they look and sound like a fool but they are so far out with a paddle or raft on DENIAL, they can't turn back.

Now some of you may say that I should not refer these types of people as idiots, jerks, imbeciles, assholes or what have you...but the fact of the matter is it's part of our English vocabulary and people who's actions and character should be addressed as such. You may not think it's polite but it's the ugly truth, their innards are rotten. Just because you say you love God, Buddha, Allah, have an education, seem to do well for yourself does not mean you don't have it in you to be and act a fool. We overlook these people because we want to believe there is hope, and or their seemingly sweet friend, wife, husband uncle is not a lunatic with psychotic tendencies.

Just say no to fuckery and get these people into an intervention.

Cheers To You

It has not been until I hit my 30's ....well recently that I have encountered women...I could say men, but women who have been so hateful they have done their best to try and forge campaings against me. I think it's hilarious, but hey I have a weird sense of humor at times. I see this on a daily basis in different situations and it was not until it happened to me that I was like " Oh that's what that is." I am happy, I wasn't happy some years ago, but I made a promise to myself to reclaim it and I have. I feel the flood of love pour in from so many angles......yet there is always one hateful, miserable being who only lives to hate on you. I understand it's all based on insecurity and desperation and the lack of self esteem. I know I am blessed, beautiful, popular, talented, yada yada yada...and because I am all those things and more....because they are not, they hate it, themselves and ultimately me.  Everyone has one, and while it's unfortunate that they are so demented, they do exist for a reason. My observations of this will make for a great book and album, so for that a huge THANK YOU, the purpose for your existence is not in vain. Your life does not have to suck I promise you it doesn't, but while your hating on me...you will look up and see that the people you have tried to convince bad things about me have already joined my team.  Hating is a disease, get well soon. # Winning

How I Hate Hospital Visits

Spent the better part of my day at Children's Hospital...all I can say is I am drained and glad to be home. I am just glad there was no talk of an over night stay and the damage was not that bad.

Common Sense

Common sense ain't that common these days I see. Folks, don't be so desperate to keep a person who will lie, cheat and steal from you. Sometimes you can be so caught up with someone for whatever reason that we will eat whatever they  feeds us. Turning a blind eye will only hurt you in the long run. I could be wrong, but I know I am not. Truth be told, some people want to be dumb and pretend they don't know what's going on....or they are so busy trying to keep up with the Jones's because they want to save face. Step your self esteem up folk.

Am I The New Mrs?

As the calls kept coming in and I kept avoiding, all I could think was...am I the new Mrs.? How did I get chosen? Why do I kinda not not want the title, but I know I fulfill the position. I don't think I'll ever be prepared, and I don't know the rules...I am just winging it and hoping all parties are taken care of. Sometimes it's way to much and other times it's amazing, when it's all said and done I consider it an honor.

Good Laughs

OMG!! This chic is a nut. Lord my tummy hurts from laughing so hard.

All To Snag A Man

Anytime you have to lie to a man about being pregnant when you're really not is REALLY desperate. Where is your self dignity and self worth. Ladies KNOW YOUR WORTH!

Shoes For The Next Gig????

Glitter!!!

A Must Share

3:26 is EVERYTHING! Makes Me Wanna Throw My Shoe.

Goot Night

Upstairs neighbors are THE WORST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No reguard.
Every time I say I am going to bed, the noise starts. Just knocked on the door after months of loud bangs and elephant feet. The music is blasting and a little baby girl is hiding behind the guy that answered the door. Why is this baby up???? Why is your music blasting at this hour??? Again why is the baby up??? Good thing we are moving, just a little while longer.

Yes!!!

The Minivan part, looks familiar....love this commercial. Hilarious!

Doin Reseach

Gun laws, Area scouting, Target practice, Chords, Triads and such, until we meet again. Long day today, actually long weekend...about to watch the back of my eyeballs.

New Week

Looking forward to this week. What seemed like a difficult situation with someone actually turned around. Unfortunately they redirected their nastiness to my associate. I could see, feel and hear the frustration in them. I overcame it, tried to give advice but nothing seems to be working out for them on that end. I pray they find a way to resolve the issue, I can see it's wearing now. I would hate for such an amazing opportunity to overshadowed by something so trivial.

The testimonies given today still have me wanting to shout!!! God is a healer!!!! You never know what your brother or sister is going through, so I am thankful that they shared and brought awareness. Life will and can take you for a loop, but faith, love and trust of the Father will see you through. Bind that foolishness up, take the Devil and his Demons out with the TRASH, cause that's what is is TRASH!

The Stringless Puppet Master

I am a FIRM believer that you should NEVER preach against what you are guilty of doing, at least not without saying "I know I'm guilty of it too. How are we sold out for the Father and we slay our brothers and sisters? How can you willingly and readily cause pain and suffering to another and say "My hands are clean?" No they are not, they are filthy with blood, dirt, envy, hate, jealously, ratchetness, trash. You can try to spin the word of God like a Svengali, but true worshipers who sound the battle cry know and are hip to your game. You will NEVER EVER HAVE WHAT I HAVE, GET OVER IT.

Svengali:
The word "svengali" has come to refer to a person who, with evil intent, controls another person by persuasion or deceit. The Svengali may feign kindness and use manipulation to get the other person to yield his or her autonomy. Svengali "would either fawn or bully and could be grossly impertinent. He had a kind of cynical humour that was more offensive than amusing and always laughed at the wrong thing, at the wrong time, in the wrong place. And his laughter was always derisive and full of malice".

You Should Feel Blessed

Praise Break

So testimony was given today and the shouting music started. There we were my baby and I dancing in the pews together.....and then the Holy Ghost took over and I got to stomping and shouting. The whole time my heart was screaming out and it said:
I bind you up demon and leave you to your own devices! Your life is meaningless demon and I put a little extra in my praise break for you today. You hate me because you envy what I have, and who I am.....now git you vile piece of nothingness. You can't justify your mess no matter how much you wrap it up in what seems like the word of God. Nothing you spat out is of my Father, you think you're fooling someone, you ain't you fraud. Trust me, it will crumble, implode and self-destruct right before your audience and your very eyes....good luck with that. #Covetousness

All I Need!

El Shaddai!!!!!!!!!!!

Gettin My Hustle On

Off to my little side hustle, thank God I can take my little King with me. God knows this single income I am bringing in is tough but my God is a provider...going to treat him to something nice later for being such a trooper. He is in for a special surprise, I can't wait! Thank you God for seeing fit to be able to provide when others don't, Hallelujah!!!!! My rent and bills will be caught up, God grant me an increase in finances, strength to make life for this child and I better. I stand on your promises.

Friday Night Fun

I

I have been looking forward to spending some fun time with my baby, this week was brutal, physically, mentally, emotionally....I was tired, but he asked and Momma delivered.
Trying to impress my four year old with my art skills. Luckily he thinks I'm a Princess and my coloring is in his words "vewie good". My Friday night in a nutshell.

Look Ma, No Hands!!!

Spent 2 hours meeting and mediating. Gaining more confidence in my management skills. I am growing and I am so excited! I look at where I was 3 years ago with this agency and I am so thankful my boss saw fit to promote me, to believe in me, to push me, to challenge me. Hallelujah!
HR finally got my coins right, I can get my lil one's hair cut and hang tough with him all weekend....so relieved and thankful.
#CapableAndConfident

Advocate And Be Aware

Touching on two issues that I continue to advocate for. I remember my days of hotline and hospital advocacy...thinking about going back.

There is a large majority of people who like to make light of this issue....well no one is laughing. This is VERY real and should in no way be joked about, dismissed or be used against anyone to make themselves feel bigger or better.

If and when you do that, you only allow others to see and feel how inhumane you are. Be Aware!

#ForEverAnAdvocate!!!


So my homegirl Maz posted this, love her fighting spirit!!

 This was also happening yesterday, which was a big impetus for my "haha rape" post.

1. 

   Blog post about sexual assault in D.C. unleashes torrent of women’s stories

   

   www.washingtonpost.com

   When Liz Gorman was violated in Dupont Circle in the middle of the day, her recount of the incident went viral.

    

   You've probably heard about the Tosh rape-joke stuff (I'll post a link below in case you haven't), but I wanted to share part of the response by Austin-area comedian Curtis Luciani:
   
   Here's what YOU need to understand:
   
   1) Rape is way, WAY more prevalent than you seem to think it is. Are there more than five women in your audience? You do the math, and then you run the little fantasy scenario that I just put together in your head, and you tell me how it feels.
   
   2) I ain't buying any of that "If I can make jokes about genocide, why can't I make jokes about rape?" Horseshit, unless you made those genocide jokes during a gig at the Srebrenica Funny Bone. You got away with making a joke about genocide because your odds of having a holocaust survivor's kid in the audience were pretty fucking low.
   
   And if you did happen to have one in the audience, and he heckled you, walked out, and wrote something nasty on the internet... would you be more likely to be a human being and say "Wow. I can understand why that person's authentic response to what I was doing was so emotional and negative. Maybe my genocide material just isn't good enough to justify the pain that it inflicts. Maybe I need more skill in order to pull this off." Or are you gonna be a lousy piece of shit and say, "Yeah, I apologize, I guess, IF YOU WERE OFFENDED."
   
   Offended hasn't got anything to do with it, moron.
   
   People have wounds, and those wounds are painful. That doesn't have shit to do with the weak concept of "taking offense." If someone talks about Texas being a shitty state, I might "take offense" at that. Fine, whatever. All of us who like comedy are generally in agreement with the idea that "taking offense" is lame, and a comedian should be willing to "offend" whenever he or she wants to.
   
   But causing pain is quite a different fucking matter. Your job as a comedian is to take us through pain, transcend pain, transform pain. And if you don't get that, you are a fucking bully, and I've got zero time for bullies.

Thankful

So today I allowed my flesh to be in control. I never made it to church tonight so fast...goodness  Well seeing that I was out on Sunday and too physically exhausted on Tuesday, I missed the memo tonight about no prayer tonight UGH!. As I sat in the car, with lil one fast asleep in the back I just started to cry. I began to thank God for just waking me up, for seeing us to church safely on a balled out tire, for my health...I just started thanking him for everything that came to mind.

I thought about how much I love my job, but hate the fact that my pay was misdirected for now. Or that once the little one realized there was no church he asks " Can we go eat now?"...the tears rolling down my face as I was driving because I know my account is in the negative. Thank God for food at home...but knowing at that very moment I could not buy him anything hurt. I have faith, I stand on his promises for my life, my child's life. I know God has got our back 100%!!!

I don't want this to get in the way of any progress that has been made....but I have to wonder...Was it all for not? All I can do it take it to God and trust that he will work things out.  When people are supposed to be responsible, yet allow it to all fall on you makes me question. I feel sorry that they feel pressured to "keep up" all for the sake of keeping that peace. Either way, I am a survivor, either way I have complete faith because my God is a keeper.

When I told my lil one we were going to church, he asked "Momma can you not cry, can you not be sad ?" I told him not all Momma's tears are that of sadness, I have a lot to be thankful for, so those are tears of joy. So the lil one says....."Oh I thought it was because the instruments were too loud.<------insert blank stare here and proceeds to do all the silly things to make me laugh. Thank you God for sending this child of mine, he is the BEST #Kids

Ugh

I hate being upset, I am literally shaking....and that's not good. Thank God we have prayer tonight...need that bad energy off me asap....running Lord...I am on my way.

When A Child Is Hurt

Your heart has to break. Lord make it all better.

I Play To Win

I feel beautiful. I am sexy,confident,smart, and fly. I am an artist. I am God's child. #IPlayToWin

Tingling

Extended play time tonight, I love when we can steal away to make time for each other. I think we may have made a baby on this one.

It's Been Decided...

Let's see how many steal this post lmbo!!
I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, SIMPLE AS THAT. I thought about it and I realized it's the best decision I have come up with thus far.

SPCA Saves Family Dog Set to Be Euthanized

I am thinking of my beloved dog, gosh I miss him even more after reading this.

A California SPCA has plenty of good karma coming their way after giving one family a welcome surprise. According to KFSN-TV, a Fresno, Calif. SPCA treated and returned a dog surrendered for euthanization after being moved by the family's goodbyes to the pet.

A tragic accident left Kayla, the Martinez's family Weimaraner, with a giant hole in her chest. The family was doing construction in their backyard when the canine slipped on wet cement and fell on a spike.

Unable to afford the emergency care necessary to save Kayla's life, the Martinez family worked around the clock to try treating the dog at home. Sadly, their efforts did little to help Kayla's condition. Seeing that the dog was suffering, the family made a difficult decision and surrendered their beloved pet to the SPCA to be put down.

The father, Frank Martinez, was the family member who agreed to drive Kayla to the shelter once everyone had said their goodbyes. He told KFSN-TV that when he and Kayla arrived at the SPCA, he looked her in the eyes, apologized for being too poor to care for her and begged his pet to forgive him for his shortcomings.

This heartbreaking goodbye took place two weeks ago. Since then, the Martinez family slowly accepted that they had lost Kayla. Then they received an unexpected phone call. Shockingly, a doctor at the SPCA was calling to say that Kayla was very much alive.

The shelter was so moved by Frank Martinez's tear-filled goodbye, they decided to provide Kayla with the care she needed free. A healthy and happy Kayla was reunited with her family this weekend, and for the first time in weeks, smiles replaced sniffles.

New Year's Eve

In amazing news....got an invitation to be part of the opening line up for New Years Eve!!! I am not going to lie, I gave a pause but quickly perked up when I heard the headliner. I am going to hate that I am going to miss church, but I've worked and waited for so long. Now onto the best part....WHAT SHOULD I WEAR???

God Covers

God is a provider, it takes more then $52.34 a month to help support a child. Live,Survive,Fight!

Nothing to worry about because God is the ultimate provider.