Thankful

So today I allowed my flesh to be in control. I never made it to church tonight so fast...goodness  Well seeing that I was out on Sunday and too physically exhausted on Tuesday, I missed the memo tonight about no prayer tonight UGH!. As I sat in the car, with lil one fast asleep in the back I just started to cry. I began to thank God for just waking me up, for seeing us to church safely on a balled out tire, for my health...I just started thanking him for everything that came to mind.

I thought about how much I love my job, but hate the fact that my pay was misdirected for now. Or that once the little one realized there was no church he asks " Can we go eat now?"...the tears rolling down my face as I was driving because I know my account is in the negative. Thank God for food at home...but knowing at that very moment I could not buy him anything hurt. I have faith, I stand on his promises for my life, my child's life. I know God has got our back 100%!!!

I don't want this to get in the way of any progress that has been made....but I have to wonder...Was it all for not? All I can do it take it to God and trust that he will work things out.  When people are supposed to be responsible, yet allow it to all fall on you makes me question. I feel sorry that they feel pressured to "keep up" all for the sake of keeping that peace. Either way, I am a survivor, either way I have complete faith because my God is a keeper.

When I told my lil one we were going to church, he asked "Momma can you not cry, can you not be sad ?" I told him not all Momma's tears are that of sadness, I have a lot to be thankful for, so those are tears of joy. So the lil one says....."Oh I thought it was because the instruments were too loud.<------insert blank stare here and proceeds to do all the silly things to make me laugh. Thank you God for sending this child of mine, he is the BEST #Kids