3:39 AM

I was trying to study and watch him at the same time. I'll try to make myself go to sleep in a few, but you know how it is when your kids are sick.

Direction

Its better late than never. I'll continue to push and sacrifice for the betterment of my child and myself. No matter what hurdles the devil tries to throw our way. My eyelids are heavy, my body is tired, but my heart is strong and my faith is steadfast. God I thank you!!! I laid hands on myself and prayed for a healing. The physical pain this week that afflicted me, plugged me right in with my God. Every time I took a step, the pain shook my body, and each time I called on the name of Jesus. The pain is dull and fading,

Satan you have no choice but to flee. Now you want to attack my child, too bad I laid hands on him too, and he's healed in the name of My Father.

As I sit here I'll watch, pray and work on my Midterm. Keep pressing folks, let's go!

My Little Dumpling

I swear when my little one is sick, I'm a wreck. He only complains about wanting more toys, and overall he's a joy, so when he's ill I don't sleep. I watch over him like a hawk normally, but when he's crying in pain, every sound and move is logged in my head and heart.

In the ER,praying for a speedy recovery.

Word On The Street

This could be a repeat of Bush's shady second term.

Progress is Progress

Amen! Don't let folks judge when and where or how you start....at least you started. Keep pushing and block the nay sayers out. They make God's ears bleed and heart break.

Family

I don't know what I would do without my family. I can't imagine having to be raised by anyone else other than my Mom. I can't imagine bringing adopted or growing up in foster care. Having sisters and brothers I don't know about. I can't imagine it and grateful I have what I have. Good bad and indifferent, it's a gang load of us spanning the globe.

Spanish, Chinese, Caucasian, African American, Afro Guyanese, you name it....I love our family get togethers all under a Caribbean umbrella. I see our ancestors in the faces or our elders and us the offspring.

I was asked the other day what race/ethnicity did I identify with the most and my answer was Carribean...but I'm still plugged into all the others as well .I give thanks today for my family....for having family. Amen

Playing in Color

Waiting on my clients.

@Home

Romnesia

Looks like this fool and his party will do anything to get into the Whitehouse. Taggart, you are way out of line.

Have Some Pride

Why did she think sex and money in exchange for housing would ever work? Ladies stop dumbing down and whoring yourselves out. Only Hugh Hefner can get away with that.

Selections

So the little one is off today, so I took a much needed day myself. Still a ton of things to do, so to keep things light we'll sooth our souls with music throughout the house.
My music selection for the day is Gershwin. What an amazing artist, composer, goodness!!!! I might throw in some Ragtime later.

You Go Girl!!!

Breaking traditions and stereotypes!

http://blacklikemoi.com/2012/10/awesome-ole-miss-has-first-black-homecoming-queen/

Drive

As an artist I've been blessed to have worked with some incredibly talented people. I've been the starving artist, worked two jobs, commuted every week to NY for gigs and auditions, slept on the train and bus only to still make it to work on time...tired but on time.

I remember being incredibly home sick while in tour. I called home everyday...even though I was grown. I've been broke, that starving artist. Risking sleep and savings, I've done it.Coming into dynamic settings and having to prove myself because I was the new girl. The pain of losing a German tour because my nerves got the best of me. It's funny how things come full circle and I totally prefer to sing in German verses Latin when taking vocal tech.

My God I am thankful!!!! Ever open, growing, and nurturing my craft, next stop Gospel Improv. It will be an interesting venture but oh so necessary. My fellow artist, don't be afraid to push yourself, you'll be surprised what you're capable of. Whatever your creative calling, nurture it to it's fullest potential. Don't let anyone defer you from your dreams.

Parents, Blessed To Have Them!!

I think just ministered to my own mother. God please continue to use me. Give me the right words to say. My mother and I are incredibly tight, and I feel our relationship has reached a brand new level. Like any mother and daughter we've had our ups and downs but we are best friends.

I'm so honored that she chooses me as her confidant and friend. I would do anything for her and she would do anything for me....now let me call my Daddy and bug him lol.

Sometimes

Sometimes some people have to feed themselves and others the same lie until they and others believe it. It's pathetic is what it is. Its what they need to sleep at night, it's what they need to justify their Un-Christian like behavior, it's what they need to feel better about themselves. They know they are failing miserably as a Christian and as a human being. I hope they can look in the mirror or have that come to Jesus moment where they can face the truth. It will hurt, it won't be pretty, it will sting, but at least it will be the truth. It's going to happen for them, God I know you can do it.

Financial Responsibility

So I'll be going over my 401k, and other investments over the weekend. I got see what my dollars are doing.

Parents, have you set up a College Fund, a Savings, a CD anything for your kids!!! If not get on the ball, it's necessary for their future! If you can buy clothes, go on trips, buy toys, you can invest in their future! What are you waiting for, their last year of High school? I pray not, let's go get it folks.

I'm Doing Something Right

Yes!!!!!! Ain't God good!! Ain't it great when people think of you first. I just got a great side gig offer preparing children for an entertainment event. I remember being young and having mentors who encouraged my creativity.

As a young artist, it is so important to have a safe environment to foster your craft. I'm going for it...who knows it could turn into a regular gig. Anything is possible!!!

I will send out a " Save the Date" for November's "Got Talent" event that I will be co-judging. I think it's going to hilarious. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be Sharon or Paula, heck even Simone. I never keep up with those shows. Do we sit through the bad contestant auditions??
I'm going to be serious.......I'm cracking up at myself as I type this.

Don't Try Me!

I'm sorry I can't, I won't so I don't! I love the kids and all but if they are under the age of 16, I will not accept a Facebook or Twitter request. I know they look at me as Auntie Jackie, but I'd much rather they be doing homework than putting things up that their parents or I would scold them for. Yes I will scold you on your "Wall" if I see ANYTHING that is not kosher and you bet not dare say but Aunt Jackie. You know better!

Merlot Juice

Bourgeoise, a food snob, fancy or Hautey Tautey call me what you will, I like what I like.

Do You Judge Much???

This was a great topic brought up last meeting. I think on some level we all judge. We are human so sometimes we do things like this. But think about it, what are you judging really? Is your desperate attempt to make yourself seem higher than your brother? People who judge feel insecure and inferior. They project that on others in hopes of trying to crush your spirit. Always remember those actions are not of God, and trust and believe he is not pleased. Their actions are not those of someone who strives to please God, but of someone who has allowed jealousy and hatred stir their ship.


Now when I call folks crazy, I'm not judging them, I'm stating a fact. If I judged them, I would attack trivial things....crazy is not trivial, it's real and it is what it is. Now for my sane happy, well adjusted folks...when people judge you, remember that they want what you have and hate that you got it!
If I'm stern on you in our meetings it's because I love and care about you and I want you to get it. I want more for you than they want for you, keep pushing!!!
It's a sickness, pray for their healing.

Life 2013

Te doy las gracias

Gracias Jesús por todo lo visto y lo oculto. Más información acerca de usted y menos sobre I. Usted simplemente eres Señor. Sanar mi cuerpo, Señor, que mañana mejor que hoy. En el dolor.
Mi corazón belings a sólo usted.

Brutal

Today/Night did a number on my little one and myself. Sometimes trying to balance it all can be brutal. My boss called me into her office to ask if I could stay and continue to work on our annual audit, I politely smiles and said I'd need to make a phone call. Thank God for Grandmothers. The little one was not happy at all, and complained that I can't come home in the dark time anymore as he would like to put it.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel,I have ultimate faith that God will give me strength to keep pushing. Talk about pooped. Grind begins again 6am sharp! Let's get it folks!

Night Music

Shedding at 1am, let me adjust the volume. It's all for the love of the craft.

Mortal Combat: Finish Him!

Mitt wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. He hears voices, he's terrified, they are coming for him...who are they...the 47% that's who.

Mid Day Jazz

I love my job. I love when the elder Jazz cats look for me to sing. I promise a couple selections before December.

Ghost or The KKK?

While my son and I were looking up Halloween recipes, I found this. To My white friends, if I come to your Halloween party and I see these on the table, I'm going to give you the serious side eye.

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Let's go copycat!

The Joys and Pains of School

Momma is tired. I fell asleep with laptop on lap, glasses on face, books as my covers and a cute five year old at my feet. I realize I can't physically overdo it, and yesterday that's what I did. Paying for it in pain today. Today, I/we will love on ourselves a little harder, thank God for another day and place tools and goals in our lives to assist us in our dream of success. I'm icing and typing as we speak. Finishing up my midterm now, holla!

Easy Breezy Fall Shoot

Great shoot today. My first time working with a little baby, man was that work. Hair, makeup, wardrobe. Mommy wanted to be easy breezy with a hint if glam. I'm so happy she was happy with her look. Heidi did an amazing job working to get shots of baby girl. I am officially pooped. I can't wait to see the edits.

Fight!!!

I'm prepared to fight, are you?

Smile Today On Purpose

Someone did not make it through the night. I thank God for keeping me.

Question Of The Day

I am looking forward to your responses and would love to hear what you have to say. I based my answer honestly on how I try and strive to be as a Christian. Not just because it sounds good, but how I pray I can be. We all fall short...but it's how we are falling is something to be examined. So take a moment to review the questions and we can open up the discussion board.

Tons to do today, preparing food for our church cook-in ....see you there? Studying for Midterms, donating the little one's and my clothes to personal friends, dinner later with my favorite guys and pulling clothing looks for tomorrow's shoot. But now is Mani-Pedi time!!!

Go Nats!!!!!!!!!

In heaven, red wine, lamb chops and steamed veggies and my Nats....wooooowhoooooo!!!!

Work On You

Work on yourself, not him, and most definitely not me. Work on yourself!!

Secret Lovers

On the phone with one while with the other...too funny. Good times and multitasking

Do You Have What It Takes?

The flyer is done, please check my Twitter and Facebook for details. I will be casting for models, please being heels, fresh face, hair pulled back. See ya there!

Awesome Experiences

I love this photographer and I love working with him, and he framed it all pruty.

Midterms, LET'S GET IT!

Up for the Challenge

Sunday will be my first time working with a baby and parent. I know it will be fun, but I am already arranging in my mind how to juggle it. I am really honored when people call on my for their make up and fashion needs, it really means a lot to me. I love working behind the scenes and watching the finished product...see a client happy is the best reward. This Fall shoot is sure to be full of beautiful colors and smiles. I will take pictures as I go and post later. E..X..C..I..T..E..D!!!

Behind the scenes of this past summer. It was hot and this was our second location. Everyone did an amazing job and my assistant worked her butt off.

My client Darian

Making sure the shot was right.

First location

Even my hunky ex got in on the action, what a sport.

I could not resist a photo op lol

Yes, Yes Y'all!!!

100% yesterday in Lab, 82% in my Foreign Language. It's not 100, but I'll take it considering I was struggling last week. Talk about hyped!!! This semester is shaping up.

Some people compliment on how I do it, I say nothing but God. Even with all the things I do...it's all him. Between getting random "Friend Request" from crazy, ugly hearted women, to meeting all my deadlines at work, raising my child, church, school, my services...I am determined. Failure is not an option.

Moving On Up

   What an amazing day. I get an opportunity to see where and what God has delivered me from and I am so thankful. I start to smile and do a little dance when I think of where I started and where I am....I swear a bolt of excitement rushes through me. I am still so happy about my Lab grade today. My professor and I had a long conversation about how I need to bare down more and shed. I need to get on my keyboard and shed until I can't anymore. He's right and I respect him. We shared an amazing laugh over my approach to a scale classically by solfège verses his straight on Jazz scales. Talk about funny class time. I miss my Classical mentor, she taught me so much.

    I swear the devil will try to have you believe your life is based on people, places and things. Everything I went through in life I am thankful for. I couldn't say that some years ago. I thought I was supposed to be a slave to my circumstances. Your past does not define you people! Though I had some very traumatic experiences, I have also seen God shine and have some really beautiful ones. Those ALWAYS outweigh the bad, always.

    My sister and I say all the time we should have been dead a long time ago. I think about how many times I watched my life flash before my eyes, all before the age of 20. The whole time, my dreams of creativity were flourishing, they never stopped. Between, my music, writing, modeling and acting, I still found a way to do it. I still was blessed to have amazing mentors who nurtured me along the way. So to all musicians, I get you. We may not have the same back story, but I understand you, we speak the same language. My story expresses , love, pain, happiness, God's grace, confusion and so much more Thank God for now being able to have clarity and to have learned and still learning from my life experiences. I am in the works of something life changing , that will allow others to experience what I have been talking about. Well, It's homework time, check ya laters.


 

I Love What I Do

Fab Dawling!!

It's A Sign!

My heart is full when blessing show up in my emails. I'm on my way Lord and thankful for the gifts you've given me.


Hey J,!!!

My sisters and I will be vending an event next weekend. Would you be able to do our makeup for it? We understand you're busy. We'd pay you, of course! Hit me back asap!

P.S. Congrats on the campaign, you look amazing, and those curves, good Gawd! I'm bringing all my girls to come meet you and hear you speak.

School Flow

Scored 100% on my lab, HYPED

Managing It All

I love your responses to my updates, y'all know how to bring the funny. Oh great answers on my "Question of the Day."

Your interactions and responses are important to me. Thank you for ALL your support!!! Please don't get on me too bad when I can't cover all of your comments. I'm working on it.

Oh I'll be posting a link via Twitter for all you music loves. I can't wait to share it with you.

Major Casting and Gig!!!

Excited for the end of the month. Major fashion show for me. Thank you, I really wanted this gig, and just got the call!!!! Y'all check your Facebook and Twitter for dates and showtimes. My heart is so full right now. I am so honored to be a part of this. Projecting positive body image for young girls is so important to me. I'm personally asking you all to continue this amazing movement and our monthly meet ups are growing. YES!!!!!!

Getting it in!

Yeah, lunch time love making........Hot!

The Poorhouse

Women who try to purchase a man's love will always end up bankrupt emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally. I'm just say.

"Friend Request"

Sorry I wrote this about a month ago, here goes...
So I got a "Friend Request" from someone who would and could never be a friend of mine. It was his "pretend faux fiancé" LMBO!!!!!!!!!I immediately told my my son's father and she was off the list. For the life of me I am still trying to understand why this chick does not get it. I have come to the conclusion that she suffers from Severe Personality Disorder.

As I look back over the past two years, I have been a target and unsuccessfully slandered by this She Devil. I think about how lonely her life has been and her happiness is no more evident than the human characteristics they pretend to possess. The crazy, desperate lengths she has done and said are truly shocking. I never knew people like this existed until one. I had always heard about them, the horror stories told by others.

People like this boggle my mind. I mean really..I've tried to rationalize it. Yes, yes, we can take the easy route and just call them evil, crazy, or even desperate...but truth be told it all boils down to one thing. Severe Personality Disorder. There you have it, no more searching, no more trying to place your finger on...it's right there Severe Personality Disorder. Unfortunately when gone undiagnosed , families, friends, relationships careers, school are sometimes compromised. It's scary because there are those who can function from day to day. No telling which way their mental hamster is running though.

Denial is another clear sign for people who suffer from this. This whole time, I was puzzled and even at times made light of their out of control and sometimes pathological chaos. It was the thing I only discussed when asked and it usually went like "Girl, whats up with the crazy lady down the road?" We would all bust out in laughter and I would always, always have a sense of heaviness come over me. As much as she would try and disrupt my life, I always ,always felt bad for her. I even felt bad at times for allowing her to fade into nothingness. My natural self is a nurturer, and total strangers are drawn to me and I to them...but I want nothing to do with this chick. I feel sorry for her.

Though I know she is sick, she is also still very competent and aware. Aware she is destructive, not only to herself but to others. I feel sorry for the people who had to endure her in her waking and in the depths of her illness. She is ashamed and prideful and is in a very lost state of mind. I can't and don't want to imagine what it's like to be her. My thing is why not just go balls to the wall with your craziness and knock on my door, why hide like a coward. Perhaps she knows she'll get her heartbroken....more than it already is.

I am in no way a mean girl...but I am also in no way up for tolerating and entertaining someone who is utterly dysfunctional. I know she's jealous and envious of me, and that's all her issue. Please pray for her and people who suffer from delusion, chaos, and personality disorder...they need it.

I'm Just Saying

Our Way

It may not be the ideal or perfect to others, but it works for us.

Cuddled Up

It's chilly down here, had to put the fireplace on.

Moving Past Your Pain.

Four baptisms this morning at church! The testimonies were so moving. When you give up and give it all over to God. I remember being in a painful state of mind years ago, it was nothing but my Father who delivered me. I pray for all the people who are holding onto hurt. Who are still trying to lie and manipulate, break up families, abuse, steal, kill and try to deceive. God can deliver you. Hallelujah!

Our Way

It may not be the ideal or perfect to others, but it works for us.

Stay Tuned...

Show next week folks, I can wait to groove with you all. Are you as excited as I am??? I'll be performing something a little different from what I normally give you. I'm nervous and excited, new territory. I'll post location, time and date, stay tuned!

Debate Time!

Ok folks...get your Facebook and Twitter ready...I got some good ones...can't wait to see what you all will FB and Tweet about for the debate....Let's Go! Obama!

Unbreakable

Our relationship is like Tom and Jerry. No matter how many times we fight, we won't be apart.

It's Going Down Tonight!!!

I've got my popcorn and red wine for the debate tonight. Legggooo Obama Baby!!!!

Love and Commitment

I want to be so taken by him, that there is none of me left.

I'm Like Diddy....I Don't Stop!

Called myself taking a power nap before homework last night and woke up this morning. Has that ever happened to you? After church last night, which started way too late I might add, I got sick again. I knew I had to move quickly to get the little one bathed and prepared for school. I was going down and fast!! I could literally feel my body shutting down. Put the baby down and literally prayed for a healing all the way to sleep. The power of prayer is amazing....no to finish up this homework.

My Dreams

As I prepare for to practice for my music  class, I can't help but to dream about where I want to be artistically one day. It's one thing to ask for and know your key, it's a whole other thing to be able to play for, transpose if need be and play for yourself.

I am not going to lie...my craft suffers sometimes with being a mother, holding down a job, service and school. I don't get that quiet practice time like I would like all the time...but I can't help but to love it...so I press on.

My Sick Sense of Humor

Just saw a squirrel jump and miss. #Hilarious

3:59 AM

So this is my bed time sometimes, depending one what homework, research or creative project I am working on. As I look to my left my lil one is just a breath away. I placed him in his own bed 2 times and he stills comes out to the living room to be near me. I give up, he wants to be near me and I'll take it as long as I need be. There will come a time when most kids won't want you to even talk to them...teen angst lol.

I am officially turning in, but I finally purchased three books I had been looking at. I plan on aggressively becoming more versed in the process of understanding and writing IEP's. You might ask why would I want that...well I will go into that in another blog post. My lil one is the most precious gift God has given me and I made a promise to him right after delivering him that I would do all in my power to ensure he has every opportunity he could in life. It starts with God, myself, my love for him, education, support, and every other good thing that will sow into his life's success.

I'm Rich!!

Check Ya Facts!!

Historical Sites in the City

Know your history. Today we stepped on sacred ground. Proud to be a Washingtonian and the resources we have in the city.