So I meet a really nice guy and things were going fine until. My son's father started butting his nose in my buisness and drove my nice guy away. For the first time in a year and a half someone kissed me on the cheeck and held my hand. I got my first hug and it felt so good to be held but my nice guy did not want the BS that came along with me.
I waited so long to build up the courage to even talk to a man and now my ex has ruined it. I don't know if I will ever be able to get to that place again.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Breathing Easy
So I am praying for trust and strength. As I ask God protection for my child I am asking for myself as well. Eventually I will let him go with his father for a slight extended stay soon. I will do it in my time with no pressure from anyone. I have to stand my ground now in my life because people will run a muck if you let them. When you don't stand your ground you end up consenting to things you're not comfortable with.
So I am feeling a little relieved that I will have a friend here to help me and the baby. Finally someone who cares enough about me to help me on a regular basis. I am looking forward to having a man...yes a man talk to me and do things with me and the baby. I am looking forward to things getting done around the house. I am hoping he come before I have to go to the hospital. I have been feeling so sick lately and the headaches don't go away. I can't afford to be hospitalized with a young baby, I would miss him way too much. I can't wait until my friend comes, I am looking forward to experiencing what it feels like to be a 3 some. It's crazy that he wants to take us on and recognizes I need a friend. I can't make it seem like my mother and girlfriends have not been a good source of support,they have been awesome to Jackson and I.
Why should I raise Jackson alone if I don't have to? Finally a man who wants to be a part of our little family unit. I am looking forward to making the adjustment and a visual routine for my son. I must admit I am very excited.
So my money is funny and the thought of that is a bit stressful right now, I need the fall to roll around so I can bring some ends in. Depending on Jackson's father sucks because I have to wait on him. Everything is late every month because of it. I hope to be on my feet soon, I hate having to lug Jackson and myself when stuff gets cut off. God is going to work it all out and I thank him for giving me patience.
My headache is subsiding and I feel a bit better, I guess unloading did it. You know what would be really good right now a good tight hug and a cuddle. I have become so used to holding and cuddling Jackson I realized just now I want one too lol. Everette called today, I was too busy to call him back I wonder what he will say next. It's nice to be missed and loved and I wonder sometimes if he is the guy for me for us. Daydreaming is a good distraction when things are crazy,it's like a little get away.
So I am feeling a little relieved that I will have a friend here to help me and the baby. Finally someone who cares enough about me to help me on a regular basis. I am looking forward to having a man...yes a man talk to me and do things with me and the baby. I am looking forward to things getting done around the house. I am hoping he come before I have to go to the hospital. I have been feeling so sick lately and the headaches don't go away. I can't afford to be hospitalized with a young baby, I would miss him way too much. I can't wait until my friend comes, I am looking forward to experiencing what it feels like to be a 3 some. It's crazy that he wants to take us on and recognizes I need a friend. I can't make it seem like my mother and girlfriends have not been a good source of support,they have been awesome to Jackson and I.
Why should I raise Jackson alone if I don't have to? Finally a man who wants to be a part of our little family unit. I am looking forward to making the adjustment and a visual routine for my son. I must admit I am very excited.
So my money is funny and the thought of that is a bit stressful right now, I need the fall to roll around so I can bring some ends in. Depending on Jackson's father sucks because I have to wait on him. Everything is late every month because of it. I hope to be on my feet soon, I hate having to lug Jackson and myself when stuff gets cut off. God is going to work it all out and I thank him for giving me patience.
My headache is subsiding and I feel a bit better, I guess unloading did it. You know what would be really good right now a good tight hug and a cuddle. I have become so used to holding and cuddling Jackson I realized just now I want one too lol. Everette called today, I was too busy to call him back I wonder what he will say next. It's nice to be missed and loved and I wonder sometimes if he is the guy for me for us. Daydreaming is a good distraction when things are crazy,it's like a little get away.
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