Feeling Blah

So stalker called my phone at 2:20 am. Not only was she disrespectful in calling me, playing on my phone, but she is ringing my phone at a crazy hour,...so now you don't care that you wake me up,but you could wake up my child. How in the world can she think the way she acted a fool with me would be ok? Did she not know she would and could damage things between the Ex and I? That could have been her aim and wanted to make sure that if it was broke, she would make sure it was irreparable. How is that caring for him or my child? If you "love him so much" as she claimed, why be hurtful to me? God help me I'm so confused about all this crap. Enough talking about that for now, onto bigger things.

Missed my Mid-Term today...my lil one woke up at 1:30,4,5 and 6am to throw up. I made the decision to miss classes today and I am exhausted. I tried to study every other hour he was asleep. Times like that makes the single life suck, should have called Ev lol. Let me not even play like that, I know he would jump at the chance but I am just not there with him. He showed up at my show at and then took me to lunch. It was good to see him. I could tell he wanted to kiss me, but I did not want to give him the wrong idea. When I got pregnant with Jackson, I made a promise to God to serve him. I have had my ups and downs with that, but for the most part...in order for me to be blessed I have to be obedient.

I know the sacrifices I have made will pay off in the end, so I am just fine with conversation from would be suitors. Real men love God and live to be obedient and honor him. We are not prefect but we should live everyday with God in the forefront of our lives. When I was a child I did childish things....so EVERYDAY WE SHOULD LIVE LIKE ADULTS. I just want peace and love in my life. The devil comes disguised in different forms like my Ex's psycho sex buddy. But I understand now, that this is a distraction...and I am focused on removing nonsense out of my life.


Well I know the two songs I will sing for my show next month, really excited about it. I will probably drop 2 classes, I really don't want to but Math is kicking my butt. I want to pass and this does not look like my semester to do that...If I am going to apply for financial aid, I need to drop and save my GPA. Well, I am not feeling well and I am sure I have whatever  lil one has uuuggghhh. Going to study and turn in early. Until later be well.