Expressions

Music is so very important to me. I think when all is crazy in the world/my world a songs can sum up exactly what I am feeling. I have only had one person tell me I talk too much but really I struggle with adequately expressing myself. Most times when I am hurt, brokenhearted,feeling high off of God's word,brand new and refreshed I play my favorite songs. I think of songs to help me say what's on my heart. I am struggling to gain my confidence back in expressing myself. Having to edit yourself to suite someone else can be debilitating to the soul especially when all you want is to express your love,pain and joy. When someone is baring there soul,you should be honored. So many times I think of past performances and I bared my soul, naked to allow people in.

When I think of the loss of a loved one either in death or life there is always a song there that helps me with the grief. I don't have a lot of love songs by men that I like so when I find one I store it in my mental rolodex. I imagine that some guy whoever ( usually in my daydreams my love interest face is blurred so I never know what he looks like) either sings the song to me or dedicates it to me. Ahhh I love a good love song, not always the please take me back, baby I messed up ones. I love when he just states the love he feels. So I am excited about my new playlist on the right. I think a song I love pops into my head everyday. Each one is personal and you can ask me what each one means to me. I have a direct attachment to each because of something that has taken place to me personally.

Once upon a time I used to write my own music and poetry. Somewhere along the line it stopped. I can't force it and if I am inspired to write something down I will. I miss being in that creative space but my life has changed so much in the past 2 years that the things that were my focus have been put on the back burner. My priorities have changed and being an artist is now my former life. I used to dream of being super mom, wife, singer, songwriter, humanitarian, actress, director. Funny how choices change EVERYTHING. At least I have a ton of songs to help me dream even if it is only a dream.

If I ever win the lottery, I would build a music/dance studio in my home. I can dance whenever I want to the music flowing in that room. My days as a dancer/ballerina are behind me but I respect movement and a great song. I am always in the things that God has created and music is one of them. The pull I have to music is so intense and often times unavoidable. Everyone has something that they love and music is a love of mine.

Enjoy