What Black Women Are Talking About...

So this guy posed the question and I answered. We women talk and these are the things that bug us about our brothas. Some of the things I listed are the things that my girlfriends and associates have experienced while dating black men. I don't think all black men are bad but I am not alone with some of the issues I have so I know It's not just me. Will I take this guy up on his challenge? Probably not, I am too messed up to even think about trying again. I have a child and have absolutely 0 time anyway so he was SOL from the start. I hope he finds someone,if there are any takers I will pass on his email.

On 4/22/08, Stephen wrote:
From the experiences you had from the black men, I think you, and other ladies who have unfortunately found themselves in the situation you have found yourself in, have a reason to be hiding. Now, I do not say this to brag, or to sound "elitist", but I think there is two breeds of black men; there are those of us who will do nothing better than just…use their wiles to get to you, and eventually leave you with the baby.

The other breed is of real/aspiring gentlemen, who think that family is the greatest thing that God can give them, who do not want to see their sons grow without fathers, without role models, without getting all the good things in life that two people, a father and a mother, who love each other to death, and who have no intention of getting divorced, because they can work things out for the sake of themselves and their kid(s), can achieve. I think I am firmly in the second group, and I like to think that I have goals in life; things I want to achieve, and they do not include not taking care of my kids. I think I have certain goals to achieve, and I am passionate about them. I want to believe that I am in the second category of the…two "breeds". But I am glad that you did leave, because if you did not see a future in the relationship, then sometimes getting out before the whole house is on fire is critical.


Now, regarding the things you talked about: I will tick my experiences/status against some of the things you did raise:
Babymamma Drama: None. Never married, no kids. I will have some, some day.
No job I currently have one. I work as a Community Support Specialist, for a Non-Profit.
No brain Would like to think I have one. Actually, I am fairly smartJ
No affection Hmmm…
No direction Girl, my next stop, is a PhD. You don't get a PhD if you intend to become a layabout
No religion Raised Christian; very spiritual; attend church occasionally
DL I am straight as a first century Roman Road.
Crazy Ex's None. If I did have any, they would be across the ocean, in Kenya.
STD's Clean as a whistle
Allergic to commitment Me? No. No way. That is what I am looking for.
Mamma's Boys Don't know if I can be described that way. She's 11k miles away anyhow
Poor performance in the bedroom - I am not sure about this. Don't have ratings…
I think I am a king complex(but I have nothing to stand on) = Really?



I respect, and appreciate everything you shared here today. I think we cannot all be dismissed, or made to pay the price of the mistakes of a few losers. Because I know that there are winners out here, and if you do actually stop to smell the roses, you will get the good scent. I know men have not always treated women as well as they should, especially "brothers", but again, I think race is a geographical divide. Sometimes I think the way African American men treat women is completely despicable. I am not going to use the fact that I am African to make a case for suggesting that I would treat women different, I just know I would. Because it is about honor. About dignity. About doing the right thing.



Now, please prove me wrong, by allowing yourself to meet someone who is different. Me. Would you accept the challenge? Not necessary to start a relationship, but I do think you would be a great person to know.



Have a great evening.



Steve.



On 4/22/08, Stephen wrote:
Dear Anonymous,
Thanks for writing back! I just wanted to briefly acknowledge your email, and tell you that I appreciate very, very much:) your taking the time to write. You raise good points; right now I must run, but I will definitely be writing back to you later today. Have a wonderful day!

Steve.


We are all hiding from black men,lol. I think there
are some good guys out there BUT...they are far and
few between.

I thought I met a nice guy right on craigslist in
05,we just had a son in 07. He seemed nice until times
got rough and so I left him. Black women are craving a
man with some balls and the backbone to hold them up.
Most of the time brotha get the tight face because we
are sooooooooooooooooo tired of there BS. I am a
babymamma but I don't tolerate drama but some women
have to deal with:


Babymamma Drama
No job
No brain
No affection
No direction
No religion
DL
Crazy Ex's
STD's
Allergic to commitment
Mamma's Boys
Poor performance in the bedroom
I think I am a king complex(but I have nothing to
stand on)

I could go on and on,no wonder women buy vibrators and
date outside there race or there become lesbeiens. I can say all this because I
am a sister. I love black men just not the BS. I have
dated outside my race and I can say I was treated
better, the only thing is there will never be the
connection we share.
Ok I am off my soapbox, but I know I am smart,very
attractive,loving ,hardworking along with all my
girlfriends and they all agree with everything I just
said.

Ok I am done now...hope you find someone.