Running Themes of Forgiveness

So, last night was a rough one. I had to try and undo the damage my child had experienced while away from me on the weekend. It was like he was a different child. It was the first time I cried and my heart felt like it was breaking. All I keep trying to focus on is forgiveness and how good God has been to me and my family.

So we went out for a late night talk over Cocoa. We talk and I like always explain to him that there are going to be things he won't understand, but I love him with all my life and to trust me. I never wanted to have to face these talks with my child, but he's smart and he sort of knows something is off even though I try to shield him. I had to forgive him...yes a child for the horrible things he was saying. I know it came from a mean and nasty place that an adult planted in his mind. It's one thing to hurt me, I can take it, but to use a child is absolutely insane.

I pray and bleed the blood of Jesus over my child and myself. That the poison that people posses not continue to spill over into our lives.

On another note.

There we were sitting and talking over our Cocoa and this young lady turns around and looks at me. She kept staring and then called my name. It was the girl I severely  beat up and injured when I was 13 years old. I said hello and then swallowed my heart and said I was sorry. I didn't move from my seat because I was scared. I said it over and over and she said, it's ok. She then turned around and I focused my attention to my child. I could see from the back of her head and the way her friend sat beside her that she was now crying.

I moved to sit beside her and tell her how much I was sorry again and that I hoped she could forgive me. Even though I was a child trying to fit in, I didn't realize how my actions caused her so much emotional pain. She said that after the incident , her life took a downward spiral and her life was hard. I was to blame for that and my heart breaks. I begged for her forgiveness, Lord knows I never intended on messing up her life. I explained that the last time I saw her I was too afraid to say I was sorry, but I needed to say it now. I could tell she needed to hear me say the words, she needed to see and feel that I was truly sorry and I was.  I hurt more now then I ever did, because of the way I treated her and the things I did had such a negative effect on her life. I was glad to her that she was doing ok and I asked her to please keep in touch with me. I really want to connect with her and try and make up for the damage I caused.

I keep this with me since I was 13,I was young and desperate to fit in. I foolishly made wrong decisions that not only physically hurt someone, it threw everything off in their life. I begged for her forgiveness and I ask God to forgive me, I pray that a healing took place for her. I saw the power of what it meant to right a wrong last night, it has and will forever stay with me. We hurt people and people hurt us, if you have a chance to genuinely make it right, do so before it's too late.