Taking on Omar

When I found out my youngest sister was going to have her first child I was very disappointed. She was 14 years old and wild as ever. My mother and I did all we could to keep her on the right track but she seemed to pull the other way. I remember times where I would be so stressed out from going to court, or taking her to the hospital after having her face bashed in. Then came Omar, out of all that madness. I tried to lead by example and show her a different way but that was not the path she wanted to take and I had to let her learn on her own.

When I look back now I can't imagine life without him. He has pushed me to do better and become a better person; I guess a call to my conscience. My mother has done the bulk of care giving since my sister lost custody of him. I share in the responsibility of raising him and making sure he becomes a productive individual. I recognize a change in him now and I can sum it up to a couple of things. Omar's father will most likely never see the free world again and my sister shows no interest in being a role model in his life. I am not really bothered anymore by it because I knew someone had to give this kid a shot in life. My mother is such a wonderful example of strength and courage that I knew the time was coming for me to take Omar full time.

I know this task is not going to be easy and will test my strength and patience, but it has to be done. My mother and I discussed this years ago and that time is fast approaching. I had dreams about how my life would turn out and all of those included Omar. I dreamed I would build my relationship with Christ, travel, meet a wonderful man who would understand what it was to take on a ready made family, get married, have a baby, buy a home, you know that stuff dreams are made of. Unfortunately some of those dreams will have to be deferred but I have to press on. With a baby on the way and the possibility of not having a home to house the children I am under a lot of stress. I am trying everyday to hold it together and figure out a plan. God has not led me to this place only for me to turn back now. I trust that he will have me land on my feet and protect me, the children and the dreams I have for a better life.

I pray that God continue to give me the strength I need to press on. I pray that I am able to raise these children the only way he sees fit. I pray that God keep me in the bosom of his love and continue to be my everything. Even when I am feeling down for the count I know God is there with me. I look forward to raising Omar; he is an exceptional child who I get the privilege of knowing. I just pray that I am able to provide the best life possible for him and my child.