Friday, September 28, 2012
It Never Feels Good When...
Well my mind and heart are all over the place again. The little one did not leave in the best off moods. It shifted just that quick, and now I will try to not spend the whole weekend worried about him. Parents, what do you do if and when this happens to you? Today was no different than any other. Home from school, plenty of hugs and kisses, snack, and even played a new game until it was time to go. We wait, play tickle, laugh, hug and kiss and then it's time for him to actually go and he starts crying and saying he's scared. This went on for what seemed like forever. He begged to stay, he begged for me to go with him, he hid, he ran, he contested, he pleaded, it was really hurtful to see and feel.
I pray that his crying stopped and he was eventually at ease. I pray the spirits in the environment he has to enter are kind to him, I plead the Blood of Jesus over him. I pray that he did not exhaust himself. I swear that hurt to see, and it hurt even more because any answers I could give him, are way to adult and too soon to answer. As a parent you want to shield your child from the ills of the world. You don't want any hurt or harm to come to them, but the reality is it will happen. For now and as long as I can, I will protect him, guard him. I talk to him all the time about being a big boy and he can do anything in life he puts his mind to.
As a child, I experienced way too many things I shouldn't have. I forced me to worry about things no child should even have to process. So parents, remember to foster a healthy, stress free, drama free, sin free, safe, sound, happy, full of laughter home and life environment for your babies. Don't expose them to sin, and hatred. Allow them to be children and let their only worry be, when the next tickle session begins. I am not going to lie, I miss him and we are tighter than two peas in a pod. I would give my life for him and I can't wait for his return. I sometimes wonder that if he experiences negative energy be it toward himself or me is the reason for his hesitation. Kids know, don't think that they don't. I am patiently waiting for his return and to have him back in my arms. Oh and my mother assured me that he probably did not cry for long...that made me feel a little better.
I pray that his crying stopped and he was eventually at ease. I pray the spirits in the environment he has to enter are kind to him, I plead the Blood of Jesus over him. I pray that he did not exhaust himself. I swear that hurt to see, and it hurt even more because any answers I could give him, are way to adult and too soon to answer. As a parent you want to shield your child from the ills of the world. You don't want any hurt or harm to come to them, but the reality is it will happen. For now and as long as I can, I will protect him, guard him. I talk to him all the time about being a big boy and he can do anything in life he puts his mind to.
As a child, I experienced way too many things I shouldn't have. I forced me to worry about things no child should even have to process. So parents, remember to foster a healthy, stress free, drama free, sin free, safe, sound, happy, full of laughter home and life environment for your babies. Don't expose them to sin, and hatred. Allow them to be children and let their only worry be, when the next tickle session begins. I am not going to lie, I miss him and we are tighter than two peas in a pod. I would give my life for him and I can't wait for his return. I sometimes wonder that if he experiences negative energy be it toward himself or me is the reason for his hesitation. Kids know, don't think that they don't. I am patiently waiting for his return and to have him back in my arms. Oh and my mother assured me that he probably did not cry for long...that made me feel a little better.
Being Social
Shout out to my Facebook, Blogger and Twitter folks. I am loving the feedback on my questions. I see I have your wheels turning. I love it keep it coming!
Bondage
People think they know you, they will tell stories about who they have decided they think you are, and what they think you do. In there mind you deserve to be mistreated and disrespected by them and others. Whatever your past is always remember you don't live there anymore, even if they refuse to believe otherwise. Pray for them, don't let their bondage be yours.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
#Epic Fail Email Response....Kinda
Two of the dresses I rquested have been sold out for sometime. I have been
periodically coming to the site to see if they would appear again. I
plan on attending the 2013 Grammy Awards and I really wanted to wear one
of those dresses. I also wanted to know about your sales. I just
happened to look and see some of the fab dresses were on sale and I
missed a chance to buy. When you have sales like that, can it come to
your followers emails? I would hate to miss those kinds of sales. I am
praying the Electrified and Evolve come buy. I can see myself in LA with
one of those on. Keep up the good work!!
Response: Unfortunately I can't get the fabric anymore, I am so sorry. I would love for you to wear one of my designs on the Red Carpet. Let's set up a meeting in New York to see what else could work. Again so sorry.
Response: Unfortunately I can't get the fabric anymore, I am so sorry. I would love for you to wear one of my designs on the Red Carpet. Let's set up a meeting in New York to see what else could work. Again so sorry.
Slow Starts.
So I am not going to lie, I have a fantastic schedule. Work and class line up just right and I am home most days to greet my lil one at the school bus. Apparently that's not good enough for him lol. He thinks I should stay home and wait for him all day. He also called me cute and asked " Are you ok baby", that kid cracks me up.
No real sleep since last night and up early, my best friend brought me breakfast and coffee. It was as if she knew It was going to be a slow start for me. My mom made me lunch and I was able to make it out on time today. Friday's are my "Self Care" day, I will be calling my doctor in the am. I can't take another night like like last night.
No real sleep since last night and up early, my best friend brought me breakfast and coffee. It was as if she knew It was going to be a slow start for me. My mom made me lunch and I was able to make it out on time today. Friday's are my "Self Care" day, I will be calling my doctor in the am. I can't take another night like like last night.
Last Night Was...........
ROUGH! Last night was horrible. I dealt with the pain in silence, because I didn't want to wake the kids. I was able to fall asleep at some ungodly hour and still get up to get them off to school. I am hurting today folks. I am still in pain and very, very tired. As I walked past my little one's room last night, I heard a faint voice. I stopped at the door to listen and heard my baby singing in his sleep. That just made my heart melt. I am so thankful he is a happy, well adjusted child.
Obediant 2008
I am praying for so many things on a daily basis like not letting outside forces work my nerves. I am trying to find the BEST OF ME and get her back. I can't play around anymore and think I can sin and then turn around as ask God to bless me, so I have to be obedient. God knows my heart and my desire is to be exactly who he says I am. I used to struggle with the fact that I am not yet married and caring for a child but God does not want me to feel ashamed. I am trying to accept that and wait on the Lord with all the faith I can muster...get it muster like mustard seed. Ok well you know what I mean I am a faithful to God and what he is going to do in my life.
I won't lie sometimes I get angry,scared,mean spirited,sad...but I am only human and I usually consult God for forgiveness right away. That has how it has always worked for me. My relationship with God is an intimate one,he's my friend and confidant when I need a place of refuge.I apologize for letting my flesh dictate my actions because I know he would not be pleased. I remember when I was 13, I told my mother I wanted to be a nun. I never did become a nun but I have always been that child who turned to him for everything. I know some folks that know me don't know that side and that's cool because it's not for everyone. I will admit there were times when I was so sad and angry and disappointed that my faith was not always there. I would wonder why now, why me, when will I be blessed not realizing I already am. Growing.
October 18, 2008
I won't lie sometimes I get angry,scared,mean spirited,sad...but I am only human and I usually consult God for forgiveness right away. That has how it has always worked for me. My relationship with God is an intimate one,he's my friend and confidant when I need a place of refuge.I apologize for letting my flesh dictate my actions because I know he would not be pleased. I remember when I was 13, I told my mother I wanted to be a nun. I never did become a nun but I have always been that child who turned to him for everything. I know some folks that know me don't know that side and that's cool because it's not for everyone. I will admit there were times when I was so sad and angry and disappointed that my faith was not always there. I would wonder why now, why me, when will I be blessed not realizing I already am. Growing.
October 18, 2008
Excited 2008
God is moving and I am so excited. I am finally moving,finally got a better ride all on my birthday which was yesterday. I can't wait for him to bless me with another job when the time is right. I can't wait for him to make a way for me to go back to school.
February 20,2008
February 20,2008
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Why Now?
Bare with me, my thoughts are together and all over the place. When I say "I love you, he says I love you more." Why do I feel crazy about that now?
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Run Forest Run!!!!!!!
Have you ever encountered the Double Mouth Devil? It's the one that says " Thank you Jesus, Thank you Lord", and then says "I Hate You!" When you see them, don't make eye contact,back away slow, then RUN FO YO LIFE lol!!!!!!
No Weapon!!!
So the day before my lil one's birthday I started feeling physical horrible. I told my best friend about it, and brushed it off a little. I didn't want my heath to stop or hinder his birthday fun...but I kept thinking about what I went through before. Welp folks, I have my first set of meds and my sushi from Sticky Rice and I am putting my feet up. I have the idiot box on with Maury's foolishness and I am taking it easy for the rest of the day.
I am not worried because I survived it the first time, and I will survive it again. My faith has grown leaps and bounds over the years. Folks listen to your body, see your doctor, rest, rest, rest. I had texted my best friend the other night and just said pray for me. She said a lot of things but the thing that stood out to me was you will not fall nor fail, take a break, but don't stop and know that God has got you. I am thankful for God's protection and I stand on his promises.
Demons and Devils come in all forms, some will try to attack your mind, your heart, your reputation, your children, your health. But not on my God's watch. Be easy folks and stay healthy!
I am not worried because I survived it the first time, and I will survive it again. My faith has grown leaps and bounds over the years. Folks listen to your body, see your doctor, rest, rest, rest. I had texted my best friend the other night and just said pray for me. She said a lot of things but the thing that stood out to me was you will not fall nor fail, take a break, but don't stop and know that God has got you. I am thankful for God's protection and I stand on his promises.
Happy Birthday!!
Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.
http://domesticviolencestatistics.org/domestic-violence-statistics/
Yes, Yes, Y'all!
While it's easy to blame others for the mess that is your life. Sometimes you have to accept the fact and be accountable for how dysfunctional you were to begin with. Sometimes people find it easy to make others a target. It's called deflecting and it's unhealthy. Find what makes you happy, I make it a point to have happy time all the time lol. Reconcile things that caused you discomfort and pain and live your life to the fullest. I had a girlfriend come to me in church and said, " J, messing with you, I might complete my Bucket List." We had a good laugh over that one... all I could say was thank you for trusting how adventurous I am and wanting to take the ride with me.
I made a vow to myself that I would walk away from people, places and things that were messy. I cut it out like cancer. There is no mention or sign of it, NOT A TRACE. I refuse to give it space in my life. It is something I do to safeguard my child and myself. In 2009 a light bulb went off, a fire in my belly and a swiftness in my walk emerged. It was there then and it's even brighter, hotter and faster now. The more people try and pile, push, and press their mess my/your way, pray fervently, work hard and smile even harder babies.
I am still chewing on that awesome word delivered on "Women's Day" yesterday...I swear it was just what I needed. You say blue, they say blah....some people will hate you and the life you live just because. Keep Shining!!!!
I made a vow to myself that I would walk away from people, places and things that were messy. I cut it out like cancer. There is no mention or sign of it, NOT A TRACE. I refuse to give it space in my life. It is something I do to safeguard my child and myself. In 2009 a light bulb went off, a fire in my belly and a swiftness in my walk emerged. It was there then and it's even brighter, hotter and faster now. The more people try and pile, push, and press their mess my/your way, pray fervently, work hard and smile even harder babies.
I am still chewing on that awesome word delivered on "Women's Day" yesterday...I swear it was just what I needed. You say blue, they say blah....some people will hate you and the life you live just because. Keep Shining!!!!
Monday, September 24, 2012
What's Your Choice?
Generational curses don't have to be generational choices!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shouts and runs around the church house.
Where Will We Land?
So it pays to volunteer and keep connections. I have set the ball in motion and the results on Citizenship there and here are under way. I have an appointment with the Embassy and the actual thought of making their a home has my tummy doing excited somersaults!!! Y'all thought I was playing, we are gonna blow this Popsicle stand in 5, 4, 3, 2...
On the heels of the anniversary of my sister's death, I am still emotional and sad, but also energized. Every time I think about her, I still feel a little mad, but I remember how proud she was of me, and how much she wanted me to follow me dreams. The very thing I hated, I missed so much...her loud mouth...the same loud mouth I can still hear over the crowd at a show cheering me on. God I miss you!!!
I look at my lil one and see how much he has flourished. The days and nights and energy I have spent pouring and molding, I see it paying off. My dreams for him stretch all over the world and the heavens....but we will settle for another state or continent for now. We've enjoyed the video chats with my family and friends, and I believe they are just as anxious for us to get there as we are. I am so thankful to God for giving me the strength to push a little more everyday, especially when I was tired and wanted to give up. I see the finish line here and the start there and it gives me butterflies.
The little one and I are either going to fly out to see Mi Padre or have him come here. Truth be told I prefer to fly there. The last time he was here he decided he want to move back all together.....sorry Daddy not this time lmbo!!!! He and I under one room for more then a month as an adult ain't gonna work. Ahhhhhh my stomach hurts from laughing at that one. Sorry but love you Dad, same goes for my mom. I will say being their only child has it's benefits hummmmm.....yeah naw!! lol.
All my continent crossover's hit my inbox I need and want info!! Betty, I miss you and can't wait to see you. You have been a tremendous help. When you left the US I though you were nuts, but I see you were able to do it with ease. Welp folks, just wanted to plug in with you. Today was super productive and full of information. It's homework time...I have the finish line in view. The sooner I finish the sooner we can have this place in our rear view mirror.
On the heels of the anniversary of my sister's death, I am still emotional and sad, but also energized. Every time I think about her, I still feel a little mad, but I remember how proud she was of me, and how much she wanted me to follow me dreams. The very thing I hated, I missed so much...her loud mouth...the same loud mouth I can still hear over the crowd at a show cheering me on. God I miss you!!!
I look at my lil one and see how much he has flourished. The days and nights and energy I have spent pouring and molding, I see it paying off. My dreams for him stretch all over the world and the heavens....but we will settle for another state or continent for now. We've enjoyed the video chats with my family and friends, and I believe they are just as anxious for us to get there as we are. I am so thankful to God for giving me the strength to push a little more everyday, especially when I was tired and wanted to give up. I see the finish line here and the start there and it gives me butterflies.
The little one and I are either going to fly out to see Mi Padre or have him come here. Truth be told I prefer to fly there. The last time he was here he decided he want to move back all together.....sorry Daddy not this time lmbo!!!! He and I under one room for more then a month as an adult ain't gonna work. Ahhhhhh my stomach hurts from laughing at that one. Sorry but love you Dad, same goes for my mom. I will say being their only child has it's benefits hummmmm.....yeah naw!! lol.
All my continent crossover's hit my inbox I need and want info!! Betty, I miss you and can't wait to see you. You have been a tremendous help. When you left the US I though you were nuts, but I see you were able to do it with ease. Welp folks, just wanted to plug in with you. Today was super productive and full of information. It's homework time...I have the finish line in view. The sooner I finish the sooner we can have this place in our rear view mirror.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Bed Time and Organization
So my little guy likes to try me. He will go to the bathroom, kiss me, hug me, tell me about the dragon under his bed, ask to watch TV past his bed time, come kiss and hug me again, go back to the bathroom, ask to sleep with in my bed (BIG EPIC FAIL PARENTS) a zillion times before he gets it. His room and bed are his own and I am all about encouraging independence.
I will be hitting up my favorite store to get some organizational items for my little guy's room. His wardrobe has gotten ridiculous. I think my boy is a little metrosexual lol. I have to allow him to wear his clothes but with uniforms there really is no need, except for church. I don't miss washing laundry that much, but I also feel like his regular clothes go waste. Well they all don't go to waste, because I am firm believer in the hand me down system. I was privileged to meet a young lady earlier this year. Turns out she's knows several people I know and is a really a sweet heart. I had been holding onto my lil guy's crib set not wanting to donate, but give it to someone I knew could benefit from it. Well sweetheart just had a handsome healthy baby boy and I am more than a little excited to give it to her. I am so happy I held onto it, because I knew someone would put it to great use.
We rearranged the whole living room and I have to say, I LOVE IT! I love it, but truth be told, I have a hankering to move. Not just a little move, a big move, to a far away distant land. I was in my car on the way to school and work the other day. I looked out the window and drifted into a day dream. I imagined that my dream state/country looked like that. The horn behind me blew and I was quickly snapped back to reality. I don't want to day dream about it anymore. I am lining up the last stretch of school and I will make a decision as to where the wind will blow the little guy and I. Keep dreaming folks!
I will be hitting up my favorite store to get some organizational items for my little guy's room. His wardrobe has gotten ridiculous. I think my boy is a little metrosexual lol. I have to allow him to wear his clothes but with uniforms there really is no need, except for church. I don't miss washing laundry that much, but I also feel like his regular clothes go waste. Well they all don't go to waste, because I am firm believer in the hand me down system. I was privileged to meet a young lady earlier this year. Turns out she's knows several people I know and is a really a sweet heart. I had been holding onto my lil guy's crib set not wanting to donate, but give it to someone I knew could benefit from it. Well sweetheart just had a handsome healthy baby boy and I am more than a little excited to give it to her. I am so happy I held onto it, because I knew someone would put it to great use.
We rearranged the whole living room and I have to say, I LOVE IT! I love it, but truth be told, I have a hankering to move. Not just a little move, a big move, to a far away distant land. I was in my car on the way to school and work the other day. I looked out the window and drifted into a day dream. I imagined that my dream state/country looked like that. The horn behind me blew and I was quickly snapped back to reality. I don't want to day dream about it anymore. I am lining up the last stretch of school and I will make a decision as to where the wind will blow the little guy and I. Keep dreaming folks!
Protect Your Children At All Cost
Heart is heavy. When childen come home distressed and complaining about their time away, it is a clear sign steps need to be taken. Parents if you suspect foul play or something is not right notify someone immediately and get your child help and seek legal assistance. You child's mental, physical, emotional, mental and spiritual welfare is nothing to play with. No child should have to suffer.
Here To Stay
I ain't goin no where DEVIL! Feet firm, and steadfast....why, BECAUSE I LOVE HIM, AND HE LOVES ME! I'll keep coming back to him because he wants me, it's just how things are. The relationship we have is beautiful, and he give me a joy that some have no clue about. You will always lose, it's just your fate, no need to be a sore loser. Beat It!
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