Look What Momma Got Tonight!!!

Look what he got me!! Super stoked ,surprised, AND my new favorite sweet obsession It's the little things. #Effort

Father's Day Surprise

Planning something amazing and familiar!!!!

Stress Relievers

Up early and well rested. It's amazing how a simple activity can relieve so much stress. That was long overdue. I feel like I can jog for miles.....ahhhh come on Sunday.

The Way You Make Me Feel

It's amazing what two people can accomplish in a limited amount of time.....still tingling, warm and fuzzy.

Hit and Run

So I am guessing the young lady that decided to hit me and flee the scene thought she got off scott free. I don't think so. Met up with my super talented friend Lovoz after the Awards show to grab a bite to eat..got hit on the way home...sucks right.Though the pain is not that bad I still have to take care of myself. I had my first Chiropractic visit and man it felt good. I don't really care about the damage to me car, but it's the principle of the matter. One of my friends suggested that I get out and confront the driver...I was like sure...so I could be kissing pavement, I got kids, no thanks.

I am just thankful to be alive and safe. I can't wait for my next Chiropractic visit...did I just say that? Well Dr. is cute lol.

Graduation Day

I gave my little one's Teacher and all the Aides a custom made token of appreciation and cards...not a dry eye in the house ya hear? What an emotional day, heck what an emotional year. Words can't express the love, security and dedication I feel for this staff. Oh and did I mention he made Honor Roll? I think I posted a picture of his certificate on Facebook, but If I didn't I eventually will.
I am a very Proud Momma Bear, you did it baby, upwards and onwards!!

Women

Why are you so intimidated by me? Is it that you are insecure because I have what you don't...or you think you have it, but deep down you know it's on thin ice? I know now why they say women are catty, jealous, what have you. Until you lock your game down, you'll always have that fear of "me"....and yes you should be very afraid.

Secret Love...Well Not Really a Secret

Finally some common courtesy for all that I do. You sure did surprise me with that last trick you learned, I can't wait until the next time. Thanks for remembering how to make me giggle,you do wonders for my ego! I won't tell if you won't tell....shhhhhh

You are Called By Name.....Devil

You think you got it going on? You think you can fool me and everyone else, well you got me messed up...I got two feet and I am about to stomp the hell out of you! Oh and I got a who crew that feels the exact same way, brace yourself it's on it's way.

New Sheriff in Town, You have been replaced.

So it's official. Replaced, REPLACING bad daddy, with good daddy. I can already see and feel the difference. There has been a shift in the atmosphere. This happening has to be the best thing to happen since sliced bread. In a matter of time, you will not even be a thought or a mention. Your ways I have grown tired of and it's time to go. I am so over, been over...you are now my sloppy seconds. There is a new sheriff in town and there is not enough space on this blog to talk about how he puts a smile on my face.

Loved this review! While I am not one to go into details about intimate relations, I am happy she likes her new product. I swear I laughed so hard, the way she had me running down the mailman. She just knew her new toy had arrived and he had it. Enjoy and don't electrocute yourself lol.

Our Mountain Retreat

They love to catch us giving looks at one another, hilarious!

 We love corn

 I am always safe and secure with you. I get so emotional just thinking about the unconditional love you have given me. God is all up and through you. I am me, with you good,bad and indifferent...you encourage me to be better and never leave my side when I falter. That is what real love is.

We crashed a reception, danced all night, played and laughed. Last year was amazing, let's do it again baby!

Some Pictures from Last Summer

 Absolute fun weekend. No one talking about work all weekend, just love, romance and real chances. We can't wait to go back, I got an amazing tan.

The Ultimate Truth

I will always love and care. I also know you never did. Truth.

I'm Just Saying

Why are women so...

I am always amazed at women who give each other a hard time, and for no reason at all. Either they are insecure, jealous, mean spirited especially towards each other. There has to be some resolve, I literally get sick of this. So many women out there doing their best to tear each other down, like crabs in a barrel. What God has for you is for you, no need to try and make others look and feel bad. In the end you will always lose that fight. I literally had to just sit back and calm and reflect.

I hear hating is a disease, get well soon fool.

My Big Fat....

So I pulled back some layers today...yes more layers. I confessed that I had lost my confidence in feeling like it's ok to have the life I dreamed of. It's taken four long years, to realize that my views on love and relationships are worthy, that I am worthy. I was afraid to be soft and vulnerable...to be the woman I know I am. I also won't give people who don't know how to cherish that in me any glimpse of it either. The lesson learned is those very same people once should always cover and care for you. By letting your guard down these very same ones will throw your weak spots in your face later.....all from personal experience I might add.

I started to believe all the things that were not given to me in my past relationship. He didn't make me feel beautiful inside and out, and it crushed me I was disreguarded and alienated...... So I treated him the same way. Never makes it right, but I was holding up a mirror in hopes he saw his own behavior. Now my heart is mending and I get butterflies when I think about all the amazing things that are unfolding. I recalled how I had added to his "issues" by adding my own fears and self judgement. I raked myself over the coals and told myself "You are not enough".....until.

He said to me..."You are enough and then some." Tears!!

Oh update...planting roots in Denver, Co

A letter to you

What about just being honest with yourself. It has to be hard to live the way you do everyday. To carry the hurt and hatred in your heart like an anchor. To live a lie, pretending to be happy and content when the reality is that you are stuck. I am not stating this a personal dig, I am saying it because believe it or not, I do care about you.

It must be hard knowing you are responsible for so much misery, separation, segregation and even deception. Set people free with the truth, they will still love you and even respect you more for it. The sooner you are honest the lighter your heart and life will be. Let go of lackluster versions of people who deserve to be set free....it's not fair to keep them in a holding pattern and more so believing they are your hearts desire. Believe that when you let them go they will survive and by doing that,you will bless them.

Family and friends will understand when you come clean about the things you have said, did, and the way you have acted. It's understandable, you're hurt....I want you to whole again.

Update!!!

Weekend was sooooooooo amazing. Church, Water park, romantic walk on the boardwalk, house party, all that was missing my favorite restaurant....ahhh next time. Got a call from the Wendy Williams Show...if it works out I'll have to be in NYC Friday afternoon for taping. So many blessings , even with the hills and valleys.
 
So I saw these and had to share. You can't hurt me anymore, I take my life back and put you where you belong....under my feet where I stomp on your head Devil...yes I am calling you a devil, hence the second biblical quote. While I have taken back my power and have chosen to ignore my tormentor(s) I WIN!!!!
Fighting on others terms is how you lose- Jim Vance

Do not return evil for evil and you will inherit a blessing- Peter 3:9

Can anyone tell how hyped I am....oh Holy Pentecost starts this week....come join us

  http://www.firstunitedwashington.org/

Effort goes a long way

I have been continually pulling back the layers of my life. It's been a really open and honest journey that I've been on. Who am I and what is my makeup.Everything from family to friends and life experiences have all contributed to who I am today. Counting down the days, It's getting close and I am so excited. Effort is everything and when you find someone or something that gives you that, STAY!

Funny Thing

When a woman says "what?", it is not because she didn't hear you. She is giving you a chance to change what you said.

Love

You can not fall out of love without in some way choosing to be. You can fall in love in a moment by simply deciding to be

Faith and Helplessness

I feel so helpless right now. I have to rely on faith that God will work it out, but my heart is hurting right now.

My Baby Praising the Lord in Song

Friday night church service was off the hook, greatly in part to my lil on...enjoy

A Parents Resonsibility

Ugh....Parents.....Please stop coercing your kids to do the wrong things. Please stop having people around them that don't mean well. I swear this is the second time my son has come home from his visit away with some implanted craziness.

Don't try and force kids to like or love someone or something if they don't want to. My poor baby sounded completely rehearsed. I have to deprogram him every time. I hate when people try to manipulate kids. Going to pray over my baby for his mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well being. I also need to pray for them....geesh. People need to grow up!

Gwyneth Paltrow talks about Postpartum Depression and more

 You are never the same after having a baby, after postpartum, I was never the same.
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/2012/04/thursdays-highlights-the-conversation-with-amanda-de-cadenet-on-lifetime-.html

Mommy

Feeling Spiritually Full

What a great night, BIG conference call. This could be huge for me and my career path. Movie date, great movie...tummy still hurts from laughing so hard. I slept all day so now I am up. I just finished praying and the Holy Spirit is still moving in me. Prayed for my lil one and myself. I can't wait for church on Sunday.

Running Themes of Forgiveness

So, last night was a rough one. I had to try and undo the damage my child had experienced while away from me on the weekend. It was like he was a different child. It was the first time I cried and my heart felt like it was breaking. All I keep trying to focus on is forgiveness and how good God has been to me and my family.

So we went out for a late night talk over Cocoa. We talk and I like always explain to him that there are going to be things he won't understand, but I love him with all my life and to trust me. I never wanted to have to face these talks with my child, but he's smart and he sort of knows something is off even though I try to shield him. I had to forgive him...yes a child for the horrible things he was saying. I know it came from a mean and nasty place that an adult planted in his mind. It's one thing to hurt me, I can take it, but to use a child is absolutely insane.

I pray and bleed the blood of Jesus over my child and myself. That the poison that people posses not continue to spill over into our lives.

On another note.

There we were sitting and talking over our Cocoa and this young lady turns around and looks at me. She kept staring and then called my name. It was the girl I severely  beat up and injured when I was 13 years old. I said hello and then swallowed my heart and said I was sorry. I didn't move from my seat because I was scared. I said it over and over and she said, it's ok. She then turned around and I focused my attention to my child. I could see from the back of her head and the way her friend sat beside her that she was now crying.

I moved to sit beside her and tell her how much I was sorry again and that I hoped she could forgive me. Even though I was a child trying to fit in, I didn't realize how my actions caused her so much emotional pain. She said that after the incident , her life took a downward spiral and her life was hard. I was to blame for that and my heart breaks. I begged for her forgiveness, Lord knows I never intended on messing up her life. I explained that the last time I saw her I was too afraid to say I was sorry, but I needed to say it now. I could tell she needed to hear me say the words, she needed to see and feel that I was truly sorry and I was.  I hurt more now then I ever did, because of the way I treated her and the things I did had such a negative effect on her life. I was glad to her that she was doing ok and I asked her to please keep in touch with me. I really want to connect with her and try and make up for the damage I caused.

I keep this with me since I was 13,I was young and desperate to fit in. I foolishly made wrong decisions that not only physically hurt someone, it threw everything off in their life. I begged for her forgiveness and I ask God to forgive me, I pray that a healing took place for her. I saw the power of what it meant to right a wrong last night, it has and will forever stay with me. We hurt people and people hurt us, if you have a chance to genuinely make it right, do so before it's too late.

Stay Tuned

So many show dates coming up, heart is overwhelmed and I am thankful.

Child Abuse

I hate when people poison children mentally and emotionally and physically, they should be shot. That's all I have to say about that.

A Praise on My Lips and Forgivness in My Heart

Truth needs no defending, this was the word for Resurrection Sunday. God knows and you need not fret. I spent the better part of October 2010 to December 2011 trying to defend the truth. I was labeled crazy, had my physical welfare threatened, my name and reputation slandered by someone who felt it was more important to destroy because of their insecurities. I plead the blood of Jesus on their life, forgive them father for they know not what they do. I don't know how many times I have cried to God asking to place forgiveness in my heart. I have to forgive them in order to find favor in Christ. I will never ever forget what you have done to me and I will use it as a reminder of how not to live my life. People like this still scare me, it's a sick sinister way to have to live.

I am always asking God to protect and shield my lil one and I. I am thankful, the threats from the person and their friends stopped....I am thankful for all the evidence however that showed up at my doorstep. Lord knows if I ever have to go to court, I will be ready lol.

I say all this to say, God will hide you in his bosom. Be faithful and patient and just let God handle the rest.

Your love

Your love never fails, never gives up on me, always supports me and never runs out on me. I love you, but I am sure you love me more.

I should be doing homework but...

I was thinking about marriage.....really thinking. Am I ready? I mean really, I would be literally and figuratively giving up a life of independence. I am sure I will still be an individual but I would now have to be accountable and responsible and share things with someone else. I am more than happy to do it for my lil ones, but a spouse??? Just my thought folks....don't all go weeping and crying, it's all good in the hood lol.

So to my ladies especially, are you so set in your ways that marriage may not be an option for you? Honest answers girls!

Silence is Golden

Can't quote or  misquote silence, so I say nothing.....................to you.

3:20 AM

Why am I still up? Because I'm getting my hustle on lol.....no I am really typing up homework. My lil one ALWAYS wants to be close to Momma so he is right next to me. I am tired as get out...but one glance at him and I catch a second wind.

Always Give Your All....

the outcome is on you. You can't want and not give...I sincerely believe that. Some people have expectations and are completely lazy when trying to obtain the things that they want. If you do get what you want without effort...is it real? Does it really make you happy, knowing you did nothing to deserve it? Can you live your life being lazy and sleep at night? I marvel at people who coast through life, but I also pity them. I pray that, they not continue to take their blessing for granted and if they do, the crash is survivable.

The reason why people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have gotten. -Will Smith

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

My lil one kisses my belly and says baby.....I swear he melts my heart, I am praying for a little girl. He can't wait for a little sister OR brother.

I Can't Wait for My Little Girl

First Theater Debute in YEARS....Langston Hughes Black Nativity

 Intense rehearsals, amazing cast mates, Gospel musical magic, makes for an amazing run with steller reviews. If I have anything to say about it, we deserved a Helen Hayes mention. An audience  member stated "Absolutely astounding and anointed. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I plan to be there in 2012. It was a "professional Broadway performance." Believe this New Yorker. Nothing but the truth. Continue to let God use you and everyone mightily."

Happy Road

My road to happiness has not been an easy one. I am still growing up and learning from my mistakes. I have taken the nails out of my own hands and climbed down off the cross. It was rough up there...faces of myself multiplied with scattered ones of people who hurt me, all hurling words that feel like punches and eyes of judgment. The face staring back at me was my own and I was the ringleader. The first to unleash blow after blow of anything I could say to crush my own spirit and break myself down.

I am on the road to happiness, this time I brought along people who love me, they carry the light when I am in darkness,plenty of nourishment, because God can cook and  packed my directions, so If I get lost, I can find my way again.


Love you all

Ms. Oday